You might relish your Grande Vanilla Bean Creme Frappuccino with one zillion special syrup requests and strict 34-degree serving temperature, or look forward every autumn to badgering your barista for a Venti PSL with extra nutmeg, but spare a thought for the Starbucks employees who actually have to make those orders. And while dealing with a baffling uniform policy and customers who post hilarious Instagram photos when you have the idiocy to spell their name with a "y." (It's actually j-e-n-n-i-e).
This week, one Starbucks barista finally did.
Well, former Starbucks barista. On Monday, Terence Wiggins handed in his notice in at the coffee company and ended his tenure with a bang. Posting on his Tumblr blog The Black Nerd, Wiggins shared photos of the worst drink orders he'd had to make during his time wearing a green apron.
It looks like Halloween came early because some of these are truly horrifying.
Let's start with the half-decaf white mocha, a pretty normal order. Normal until you read down the label and see that the customer also requested ten pumps of raspberry syrup. Then there's the Grande iced coffee with 15 packets of Splenda (light on the ice) and a black tea with 18 pumps of classic syrup, served in—what else?—a personal cup. Similarly heart attack-inducing is the Venti Caramel Frappuccino with an additional 16 pumps of caramel syrup.
But none of this comes close to the horror of the customised Pumpkin Spice Latte. Wiggins' customer ordered it in Venti—Starbucks' largest size, typically containing two espresso shots—and proceeded to request 14 shots of espresso, 20 pumps of pumpkin flavouring, and extra pumpkin topping. No whip though, that would just be excessive.
Speaking to The Daily Meal, Wiggins, who also hosts a podcast and writes about gaming, explained his thought process when making these over-the-top orders: "What goes through my head is mostly just bewilderment. I usually just show it to all my co-workers just so I know I'm not going crazy. More than once I've muttered under my breath, 'What in the hell?'"
Good luck in your new career, Terence. May it contain much less refined sugar.