Will Too Much 'Self Love' Make My Knees Hollow?

Indonesia's weird masturbation myths are pretty hard to debunk. Nearly everyone believes them, and a lack of real sex education in schools sure doesn't help correct some pretty bizarre beliefs. Take the "hollow knees" idea that was pretty popular when I was a middle school student. The general idea goes something like this, if your knees sound hollow when you strike them, then surely you've been masturbating too much.

I still remember sitting in middle school when a friend reached over and suddenly rapped his knuckles on my knee cap before loudly exclaiming, "Wah! You've got a hollow knee. You probably jerk off all the time!" to a round of uncomfortable laughter.

You need to understand that I was a scrawny kid with bulging knees, so of course I was branded a chronic masturbator all the way through university. But what the hell do my knees have to do with masturbating anyway? And where do ideas like this come from in the first place?

The reality is that for as long as people have been pleasuring themselves (and societies have been trying to make us all feel guilty about it) there have been myths and bullshit warnings about its negative side effects. In the United States, teenage boys were warned that masturbating too much would make them go blind—or give them the dreaded "hairy palms."

Sure, there are still risks—like a broken penis—but those risks are all really out there, worst-case-scenario kinds of things. Hell, scientists even think that masturbation, or super regular sex, even reduces the risk of prostate cancer. So all that time spent locked in your bedroom might actually be good for you after all.

But where did this whole "hollow knee" thing start then?

"The hollow knee myth started in 18th century Europe," Zoya Amirin, a sexologist, told VICE. "And that myth has been circulated until now."

At the time there was this idea that masturbation was making people insane. It had something to do with the euphoria that people felt during an orgasm. Look old Europe was a place of low educations rates, weird myths, and puritanical ideas, so of course something that felt good and involved a "shameful act" would be linked to health issues. Before long, masturbation was said to cause hollow knees, as well as blindness, dementia, impotence, indigestion… the list goes on.

But why the knees?

"When an orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation, there's excitement and a limp sensation in the knees," Zoya told VICE. "From there, a myth was born that constant ejaculation might cause your knee to go limp permanently. In reality, masturbation has nothing to do with the calcium deficiencies that cause human bones to become porous or cause weakened joints."

These kinds of myths continue today. China's People's Liberation Army (PLA) recently released a report saying that it had to reject 56.9 percent of potential recruits for health reasons—including being too lazy, playing too many video games, and masturbating too much. Wait, you can't be a soldier in the PLA if you masturbate too often?

The PLA claims that too much self love can cause the veins in your testicles to become enlarged, a syndrome called varicocele. It affects as many as 15 out of every 100 men and for most it's totally harmless. No one is sure whether masturbation, but the answer is unlikely. But it's still enough to disqualify someone from the PLA, apparently.

"The chance of masturbation causing varicocele is tiny," Zoya said.

There's also no medical evidence that masturbating too often can cause any health problems at all, Zoya told VICE. Just, you know, don't let it interfere with the rest of your life.

"Masturbation has its benefits," Zoya said. "It's a way to explore your body and release sexual tension. As long as it doesn't interrupt with you and your partner's sex life, then I see masturbation as something positive."