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Leftist Woodchucks #Resist Paul Ryan by Eating His Car

They moved into the underbelly of the Speaker's Suburban and chewed up the wiring, leaving the SUV "just dead."
Drew Schwartz
Brooklyn, US
Photo of a woodchuck via Shenandoah National Park; photo of Ryan by Manuel Balce Ceneta / AP

Activists have been making the private lives of Trump allies as difficult as possible lately, protesting at their houses, ruining their meals, and berating them in their hometowns. And it looks like the guerrilla faction of the #Resistance just welcomed some unlikely compatriots to their cause: woodchucks.

A family of the bushy-tailed, chisel-toothed mammals sabotaged Paul Ryan's Chevy Suburban recently, chewing through the wiring and leaving his SUV totaled, NPR reports. During a Q&A Thursday at the Economic Club in Washington, DC, the House Speaker explained that his car had mysteriously died after he'd left it parked at his mom's house in Wisconsin through the winter. When a mechanic put it up on a lift to see what was wrong, he said, "they realized that a family of woodchucks lived in the underbody of my Suburban."


"My car was eaten by animals," Ryan said. "It's just dead."

Sure, the woodchucks—also known as groundhogs, whistle-pigs, or land-beavers—might've just been looking for a dry, protective shelter where they could ride out the brutal Wisconsin cold. Or maybe, like the anti-Trump dogs who came before them, they were looking to stick it to the Republicans the best way their animal selves knew how.

Welcome to the Resistance.

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