It's Wednesday, January 30, and It's So Fucking Cold You Can't Even Order Delivery

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.

• Earlier this month, Starbucks celebrated Alexander Hamilton's birthday by featuring a playlist of Hamilton and Hamilton-adjacent songs for a full week at their over 14,000 US locations. This was probably a nifty Easter egg for any history buffs or musical theater fans who came in to grab a latte, but for the thousands of employees who had to listen to the same dozen or so songs on repeat for eight hours at a time, it was something more like low key auditory torture. Grub Street noticed a Reddit post from a barista who complained, "If I have to hear Hamilton one more time I’m getting a ladder and ripping out all of our speakers from the ceiling," and spoke to several other Starbucks employees, all of whom confirmed that themed playlists make the job feel like Groundhog Day. But both the OP and the other employees that Grub Street spoke to said that, as far as single songs go, nothing is as prevalent or annoying as Peter Bjorn and John's 2006 whistle-heavy earworm "Young Folks." If you want to subject yourself to the same experience, the exact playlist Starbucks is using is available right now on Spotify.
• ThinkProgress has an inspiring feature on the years of organizing and agitating that went into the formation of the Burgerville Workers Union (BVWU). As of December, three separate locations of the Oregon and Washington chain have voted to unionize and have started bargaining their first contract with management, making it the largest federally-recognized fast-food workers union in the country.
• With temperatures in the Midwest currently rivaling those in Antarctica, restaurants around Chicago have announced closures today. But remember, if you can't stand the idea of going outside to grab a bite to eat, think about how the delivery guy feels. A GrubHub spokesperson told Eater that restaurants may suspend delivery service to protect staff at their discretion. And if you *can* get someone to bring you food, tip generously.
• But if you happen to be in Wisconsin, and are willing to brave the Hoth-like conditions, Mullen’s Dairy Bar in Watertown has been offering free ice cream cones whenever the temperature dips below -20 degrees ever since they first opened in 1932. It's a little absurd, but consider this: Crank the heat before you embark and get your free cone to go—it definitely won't melt before you make it back home.

• KFC announced on Tuesday that they'll be testing a Cheetos-topped sandwich in select markets around South Carolina, Virginia, and Georgia. I gotta say, I'm not mad at the idea, but why not just bread the chicken in crushed Cheetos directly and cut out the middleman??

I realize that by delighting in and sharing a commercial created for the Super Bowl, I'm participating in the vast capitalist network that serves to inoculate the NFL against increasingly valid criticism, but, you guys, it's the Backstreet Boys!!!! And those pink jumpsuits are a great look.

Imagine ordering and eating cotton candy within the confines of your own home, away from the context of a fairground or sporting event. If that sounds more delightful than strange to you, then, first of all, I admire your undiminished capacity for childlike joy, but also, Dylan's Candy Bar has you covered.