It’s Spraaang Breaaaak and you are ready for everyone to look at your shit. Look at your shit. You’ve got shorts in every fucking color. You’ve got designer T-shirts. You’ve got Scarface on repeat, constant y’all. You’ve got Escape, Calvin Klein Escape. You smell nice. You’ve also got two cheap plastic flasks that are supposed to look like bottles of SPF 30 sunscreen—and the police would like you to know that they know about those, too.
“Spring Break fact: Hiding vodka in a sunscreen bottle only works if you don’t let a Deputy see you drink out of it,” the Okaloosa County (Fla.) Sheriff’s Office wrote on Facebook. They’re right—although if you’re not underage, you’re not breaking any laws in the state of Florida (although there’s a better than average chance that you eventually will). According to WKRG, drinking on public beaches is allowed, as long as your booze isn’t being poured from a glass bottle. And again, as long as you’re of legal drinking age.
These GoPong Sport Bottle Sunscreen flasks are being sold on eBay, Amazon, and Overstock.com, and they come with a small plastic funnel to prevent you from spilling any fluids onto the otherwise pristine bedspreads in your Daytona Beach hotel rooms. The bottles also seem to be pretty popular with people who travel on cruise ships, but don’t want to pay for drinks onboard.
“Very legitimate bottles […] These life savers saved me $700 because I didn't have to buy the cruise ships drink package,” one enthusiastic Amazon reviewer wrote. “My state room had a fridge so these babies were in there nice and cold, my room service person must have wondered why I kept my sunblock cold.” (But a less-satisfied customer pointed out that the list of ingredients on the back of the bottle includes jokes like “megahangover”—oh, and they have a tendency to leak).
Regardless of what you’re drinking, or what you’re drinking it out of, just be responsible. If you’re underage, you should both drink responsibly and do that shot of sunscreen when you’re still in the hotel room. Duh!
Also, don’t put the blankets near your face. Ever.