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'Matt 'Rockstar' Sikorski - Audition' Is the Best YouTube Video

People know that inspiring others to feel fuckin' kickass is a powerful tool.

The Best YouTube Video is an occasional series where Motherboard searches for the best YouTube video ever made, usually on Friday afternoons right before the margarita alarm rings. Previously The Best YouTube Video: Christory 2014 - Rise of the Inner-Net.

I've mostly cut my own hair for a few years now. I don't do the best job, but it works, and it's nice to not have to explain to someone why you're trying to grow a rat tail. (It's coming in nicely!)


Partly I started cutting my own hair because I've had difficulties finding a barber I like—I had one, but then I moved away—and partly because it's nice to save $40 a month, or whatever it costs for a pair of cuts these days. But the main reason I cut my hair is because when I'm drinking beer in the shower and turn on a pair of clippers—kwakBBBWWWMMMMmmmmMMMMMMM—it sounds EXACTLY like the beginning of Cliff Burton's bass solo on Kill 'Em All.

There's truly something to be said for feeling really kickass, doesn't matter what it's about. It's not the same as badass, which implies a measure of violence. I like it imagine how it must feel for a 5.0 Mustang, the actual car, when it's doing a bitchin' burnout for no other reason than the Sun's shinin' and the V8's rumblin'.

Naturally, a music is a big player in all of this, especially when you've got a rippin' track that feels like you're the anthropomorphized embodiment of a high-five that lasts for decades.

And naturally, people know that inspiring others to feel fuckin' kickass is a powerful tool. Perhaps most notably was Honda's use of Judas Priest's "Hellion," which features easily the best harmonizing guitar in any 30-second album intro, to sell minivans.

Hell, it worked. Normally I'd throw on "Hellion" when I want to daydream about jumping a flaming monster truck over a 747 while wearing a Viking beer helmet that sprays pig blood to my voice commands, and hey, if said monster truck happened to be styled after an Odyssey, so be it.


But such an effort doesn't come without a modicum of concern. The last thing I want to do when writing about whatever the hell it is that inspires us to do air guitar solos is talk about authenticity or whatever, but we must acknowledge that finding your self having a kickass time, like skulling beers and/or shredding some mode of transportation, are ripe for co-opting by decidedly un-chill forces. We all want to live out the scene where Billy Madison roars up in a Trans-Am blasting Billy Squier, but not when it's a moment hashtagged #UrbanOutfitters.

The flip side is true too. The lament about authenticity is the lamest old turd in the book, and the last thing I'd ever want to be is the dude making fun of someone because their crispy new Specials shirt came from the 2013 tour. ("Ska-n00b central, types someone on the internet.)

And so we find ourselves with the Uncanny Mountain of Bitchin' Situations, which looks something like this:

There's a sweet spot of maximum awesome in life where you're doing awesome things just for your awesome self, and there's no better place to be.

Which brings us to Matt "Rockstar" Sikorski and the many faceless people hanging out in his backyard. This video captures something many of us are familiar with: That point in the afternoon where you've already been to the beer store three times and someone gets hit with the lightning bolt of brilliance, the moment when you know you're about to do something that will make everyone else go "holy SHIT this guy knows how to live!"

Sikorski is clearly experienced in these situations, and he's clearly at least 10th dan in the school of giving precisely the right number of fucks. And wow, this video is seriously impressive, especially the flaming head smash at the end. No joke, I did a little air-head-butt of support from my desk, and I bet you did too.

And yet Sikorski's triumphant video has twice as many thumbs down from YouTubers as it does thumbs up. Taken at its face, that's positively astounding. For all the dumb shit that blows up on the internet, a guy ripping guitar and smashing flaming bricks AT THE SAME TIME is about as mind-melting as it gets.

But the video also happens to be posted on the America's Got Talent channel, which largely exists to take viral videos, which have been freed of cat food commercials since the internet made America's Funniest Home Videos irrelevant, and repackage them like a chicken nugget slurry made of the American Condition.

And that's how you have someone who spends $30 a month on text message spite-voting to shut down that uppity brat on American Idol commenting "How is this 'talent?"on Sikorski's video. Not that Sikorski gives a damn, because he's too busy wailing and smashing his face through flaming wood blocks, and that's fantastic.​