There's only weeks to go until that big day when you get to sit in resentful near-silence with family members you've not seen since the last time you started drinking Stellad at 10am, while testing out a new pair of slippers and contemplating chowing down on your third Terry's Chocolate Orange. And you're probably sat frantically clicking through everything Amazon has to offer for under a tenner in a desperate attempt to look like you're not a self-centred brat who couldn't care less about giving presents to the people who raised them.
Hopefully you, or someone you know, or even someone you truly love, is into dance music. You want to get that person something that suits them, a gift that comes from the heart, a present to be savoured and appreciated on the merriest of all days. And if you can't be bothered to do all that time consuming clicking yourself then you're in luck. We've done it for you.
In a dream world, a world where the credit crunch was just something to fill a bowl at the cereal cafe, we'd all treat friends and family alike to stacks of freshly pressed vinyl. Sadly, we've got overdrafts and the aforementioned crunch means we all live in shoeboxes and there's nowhere to put all those nice gatefold 4xLP 180g reissues of old Basic Channel tunes anyway. As most of us wear a t-shirt every day, they make perfect presents. because they get something they'll probably actually use and you get the smug satisfaction of knowing that the recipient will be forced into wearing it the next time they see you.
So forget the Gio-Goi garms and get 'em something decent.
For the house head out there hop over to Turbo Island and pick up this ridiculously gorgeous Frankie Knuckles tee - like pretty much everything else they put out, this one's destined to become a design classic. A fitting tribute to the late great man himself.
This beauty was part of the Millionhands x International Feel collaborative line, a sumptuous celebration of this year's best Balearic release - Mark Barrott's Sketches from an Island record. Sadly these were snapped up quickly by hordes of bearded blokes clutching Gigi Masin albums, so you might have to scope out eBay for the perfect sunsoaked gift this December.
A true club classic, the Space t-shirt is an iconic bit of Ibizan ephemera. It doesn't matter if the closest your cousin's come to the White Isle is knocking over the pyramid of Tate & Lyle in the Co-Op, this shirt screams 'I WAS HERE IN 87 WITH DANNY RAMPLING AND THE LADS'. Team it with some shutter shades for the ultimate island look.
Given that even your grandad's probably already worn his classic R&S design for the last two Christmas day's in a row, you've got to dig a little deeper. This tie-dye number looks simultaneously snazzy and a bit like the wearer's pissed themselves.
Now, unless you're an absolutely appaling wrapper, the edition of this goofy number from Rush Hour Records won't be as absurdly creased as the photo above suggests. Tip: this gift works best if the person you're giving it to wears glasses and has a predeliction for baseball caps. Another tip: that's basically me, so if you're reading this and feel like inexplicably sending me a present, can you grab me this in XL? I've got one in medium but I've had a digustingly heavy year and it's a bit too tight on me now to get away with during sets without my beer belly barging into the faders.
Finally, if your mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle/son/daughter/niece/nephew is suddenly into instrumental grime then why not buy your mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle/son/daughter/niece/nephew this zinger from the Lord of the Mics crew?
Hopefully I've made your life a little easier, and there'll be at least one person in the lounge, after the turkey's been left to decay in a sweltering kitchen, that isn't seething with barely repressed regret. And if they are they can at least take comfort in being able to sigh deeply into a nice, soft, brand new t-shirt.
Follow Josh on Twitter for more fashion advice: @bain3z