Woman Tries to Steal Cardinals Rally Cat, Promptly Loses It

We love our little fuzzy buddies. So much that it makes us do the crazy things.

Last night, the Kansas City Royals–St. Louis Cardinals game was visited by a nice little fuzzy buddy, who, despite mauling just about every appendage in sight, earned the hearts of millions as it rattled across the outfield like a firework with claws.

Just take a look at this fuzzy buddy doing its thing. It is capricious, it is animalistic, it undoubtedly is directly responsible for Yadier Molina launching a grand slam immediately after its removal from the field:

Thankfully the cat’s popularity led to a follow up story, because we have been graced with this gem of a press release from the St. Louis Cardinals:

In case that font’s too small and italicized to read, it outlines a couple of key details about the grounds crewman Lucas Hackmann, who received first aid after being torn up by the fuzzy buddy in question. But the real heart of the story is about the woman who wrangled the cat—despite security’s best efforts to contain it—and claimed that the cat was hers. After security chased her down to get some more details, the woman revealed that she might not have owned the cat, but just liked it and wanted to take it home. And then she promptly lost the cat in City Garden. (And then the Cardinals ended with a dad-joke kicker about wanting to “scratch and claw their way back to the top of the division standings.”)

Too bad, though. Apparently, Cardinals catcher Mike Matheny was angling to adopt that fuzzy buddy for real: