Father’s Day is literally this weekend, people, and we’re not judging you for forgetting the made-up holiday. However, as much as he won’t admit it, Dad is definitely looking forward to this year’s gift, since you missed the cookout last year due to a global pandemic. (He let it slide, but just barely.) Now, you’ve waited until the last minute to cop the perfect Father’s Day gift, and you’re scrambling. We’ve been there.
The issue with waiting so long is that lots of products aren’t going to ship in time for the big day. That’s why this comprehensive, wonderfully thoughtful list of last-minute Father’s Day gift ideas is going to be your saving grace. Indoor grills? Check. BBQ classes? Got ‘em. Booze? Duh. What we didn’t put on this list is a phone call, which, if you’re not seeing Dad this year, is the best present of all. He misses you, champ.
So shower the old man in gifts while he’s still around—one day, you’ll be glad you did.
It’s time. He’s been waiting his whole adult-toothed, meat-licking life for this: the opportunity to train under James Beard-award winning pitmaster Aaron Franklin of legendary Austin meat heaven Franklin Barbecue. A trustworthy Texas barbecue mentor if ever there was one (he has two first names; how can you not trust him?), Franklin started out his career grilling in the backyard (just like Dad), and now stewards a barbecue restaurant with lines that form around the block. He’ll teach your dad how to smoke pork butt, work with wood, and make the perfect sauces, brisket, and more.
Someone to yell at him for once
He won’t call your dad an idiot sandwich. (Actually, HR says we can’t promise that. But Reddit says Gordon Ramsey is rather chill if you’re not a trained chef, so roll the dice?) Ramsey will cover vegetables, egg poaching, knife skills, pasta, beef Wellington, and how to break down a whole fish.
(Plus, MasterClass is running a BOGO Father's Day deal that ends on June 21, 2021 at 11:59 p.m. PT—so you can get a membership for you AND Dad for the price of one.)
Your dad is a drunk barnyard animal
Shelves? Pffft. Dad doesn’t keep his whiskey decanter in a cabinet. He grabs a crowbar, and unleashes his personalized sipping wares from a Man Crate brimming with the perfect ratio of salty-to-sweet snacks (cashews, meet butter toffee), cooling slate coasters, and those massive ice sphere molds that makes his tongue feel like it’s licking the boulder from Indiana Jones.
This UFC Octagon Announcer will proclaim his day
When it comes to hyped introductions, Bruce Buffer is the best. Write him a Cameo video message script to narrate Dad’s trek from the bed, to the can, to the fridge (and back again).
Lean on me
He has all the tools. He has all the belts. But does he have a new set of knee pads? This pair is top-rated on Amazon for its Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-levels of durable shell power, flexibility, and the little air vent in the pads so he won’t sweat.
He’s a G&T man
… Or perhaps he’s a fan of hammering Negronis on the porch? At any rate, this bottle of small batch gin is distilled in copper pots, and is made with hand-crushed, fresh juniper berries that give off sweet and spicy flavors and aromas. Perfect for post-lawnmower session summer cocktails.
Grill man on the go
Filet all day! You brisket, you buy it! We haven’t perfected Dad’s tagline yet, but he will need one once he starts taking this portable grill kit to every hang sesh with the jabronis. Its surface is over 15 inches long, and heats up to a max of 460-ish degrees for making the perfect on-the-spot chicken, steak, and pork chops. Never know when you’re going to need to bust those out.
For playing Steely Dan at the lake
Dad needs his jams, man—but he also has enough on his plate, when it comes to schlepping gear and bratwursts out to the lake, pool, or beach. This speaker is lightweight, easy to use, and lasts 12 hours on a single charge. Plus, it’s a nice shade of Listerine blue that can’t be lost among the pines.
Golf Daddy needs a new collar to pop
Callaway is like the Ralph Lauren of golf goods (other than… Ralph Lauren), and the brand's gift cards start at $25, which is perfect for Pops, who is very particular about his gear and knows exactly what clubbing accessories he needs. A safe pick for those non-sentimental boomer dads, argyle lovers, and daddies à la distance.
Just add white dog
What’s white dog? Why, it’s the clear, nearly neutral spirit that’s distilled from a whiskey mash (i.e., raw, unaged whiskey). Whiskey gets most of its flavor, color, and aroma from the barrel it ages in, which is what Dad will love explaining to you and all of his friends when you gift him this two-liter, charred oak aging barrel. He can age it for as long as he likes, or until you tell him you don’t own a power drill, and he needs a stiff drink.
Dad is one smooth back away from smokin’ Michael Phelps
It’s all about hydrodynamics, people. Once Dad tightens up the back hair situation he’s rocking at the moment, he’ll be gliding through the water like a seal. This back grooming kit comes with a 2.0 ELITE shaver with an exfoliating BAKBRUSH, a BODBARBER 11-in-1 full-body groomer, a 6-PAK blade refill, and a complimentary travel bag and wall mount. (Because the only thing you want mounted on your wall more than your fake mortician’s certificate is your back hair removal stick.)
His own heirloom pepper sauces
Family recipes have to start somewhere, right? (And not everyone has a benevolent nonna on stand by.) This hot sauce kit holds Dad’s hand through the entire sauce-slinging process, presenting him with different spice blends of varying hotness for him to toy with. Have a glass of milk nearby?
Now go wait by the mailbox. (Or browse some other gift options if you know you’re going to be late.)
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. VICE may receive a small commission if you buy through the links on our site.