My Favorite Tattoos

If you must get a tattoo--and really, most people absolutely shouldn't--be sure to get one that you know in your heart, some distant day in the future, you will really, really regret.

by Bruce LaBruce

November 22, 2011, 7:25pm

Manson and Sadam and words that are written
All over people with whom I am smitten
Ink that proclaims you have nothing to lose
These are a few of my favorite tattoos
When the world bites, when my life stinks
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember
my favorite tattoos
and then I don't feel so bad!

Hey Kids: Here’s a previously unpublished portfolio of some of my favorite tattoos that I’ve encountered hither and yon. If you must get a tattoo—and really, most people absolutely shouldn’t—be sure to get one that you know in your heart, some distant day in the future, when you’re a completely different person, you will really, really regret. Otherwise, what’s the point?

My dear friend, the late, great graffiti writer and artist Dash Snow, had some of the gnarliest tattoos ever. I really wish they had preserved them after he died so they could be on display at the Smithsonian.

Dash again. I mean, who else would have not only a tattoo of Sadam Hussein on his arm, but one with spider legs that looks like its straight out of John Carpenter’s The Thing? I guess it’s a reference to that whole spider hole episode?

Okay, this guy is a fan of mine from Singapore. I won’t reveal his identity because I’m also going to mention that he has my name tattooed on his dick! (I wonder if when it’s flaccid it says BLAB and when it’s hard it says BRUCE LABRUCE.) Anyway, I love all spider tattoos, and the hieroglyphics are cool, but the crown with “LA BRUCE is king” is really sweet.

I forget who this is. Please identify yourself, unless you are dead. It’s amazingly cool.

My dear friend the extraordinary performance artist Ron Athey is one of the few people who can successfully rock modern primitive tattoos. Of course he’s had them since 1912!

I photographed this hot girl in Madrid. I love the riot grrrl climbing up the cross. Conceptual!

Just yesterday I photographed supertranny Lexi Tronic for an upcoming issue of the new Toronto sex magazine UpandComing, and her Charles Manson tattoo caught my eye. Below it is tattooed the sentence, “God’s a fag and so are you.” A girl after my own heart. I think the spider web on her elbow means she’s killed somebody. She is from Winnipeg, after all.

Lexi’s back sports a modified cross which had to be modified again when the doctors removed some cancerous stage four Melanoma flesh. Tattoos mixed with scar tissue are the coolest.

I forget this gentleman’s name, but he’s a Toronto bear artist. I love that he’s so in touch with his feminine side!

Another Toronto artist whose name I forget. I also forget the significance of this tat, but the fact that it’s homemade and that it has a private meaning makes it cool.