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Vice Blog

ALL THE NEW BANDS ARE BORING

I spend more of my life trying to find new bands worth caring about in London than I do speaking to my own mother, so having been lured in by

affair

's music, I was disappointed to find out that they are the most uninteresting people I've spoken with in recent memory. If you can hold your eyeballs open long enough to read the incredibly short interview I did with them via ichat you'll see what I mean.

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Vice: Who are you?

affair:

We're K and M. Female and male. We're called affair.

Are you lovers?

On a creative level.

So not on a romantic level?

In a romantic

sense

, but not on a romantic level, no.

Why don't you want anyone to know your names?

It's not that we don't, we just chose not to. We'd rather be known as one single unit.

OK. Don't too many bands choose anonymity just because it's fashionable these days?

It's not that we want to be anonymous. We just want our material to speak for itself.

What's wrong with wanting your material to speak for you?

Everyone seems to be fascinated with people and personality. We'd just like to give the material some breathing space before people get to know more about us.

Have the three of us met before at any point?

Lol. I don't know. I don't think so. Would you like to?

I don't know, I don't know anything about you.

We're into abstract foreign films and art. K's into Krzysztof Kieslowski, Michael Haneke. I love Peter Greenaway. Art-wise a few things… mainly left-field and contemporary.

What do you do with your days?

Daydream, shuffle paper, move clothes.

When was the last time you did anything that could be considered rock 'n roll?

[after ten minutes] I don't think I can answer this question.

ENDS

If you couldn't be bothered to read that condensed version of time I've chosen to call "three hours of my life," no one is going to hold it against you; but those who stuck with the text might

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not

chastise me for attacking a pair of shy and perfectly nice hipsters with 606 MySpace plays to their name. There's an etiquette of anonymity around music made at the moment that's so tedious and genteel. It works for some – if you're as weird as Zomby or Hype Williams, or make music that is better without your face (Burial) – but for others it just seems an affectation as pointless as wrapping your pasty, naked body in clingfilm. You don't expect every heartbroken wetlad with a cracked copy of Logic to be Richard Pryor, but what the fuck happened to having a personality? Why has that suddenly become a bad thing? It's weird, cause this track has plenty of it.

I guess that's what happens when you don't have to leave your bedroom to exist any more

.

AFFAIR – "TO GET"

[audio:http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/music/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/affair-to-get.mp3]

KEV KHARAS