Nerdwatch 2011

This article's called Nerdwatch because that's what the last article I wrote about New York Comic Con for VICE was called. (You can read that article here.) Being a nerd isn't what it used to be. It seems fucking awesome and a lot easier these days. I go back and forth on whether the ease with which the state of nerddom is obtained is a good thing or a bad thing, but this year's Comic Con made me feel very posi about the whole nerd society we are now inside of.

There were a ridiculous number of cute girls at this thing. Maybe I am just more aware of it now because I spend all my time by myself in my room, but it seemed like a huge increase in the number of cuties. The cutest girls tended to dress as Finn from Adventure Time. There were a few times I did an honest-to-god double take. There were also a lot of charmingly gawky people who gave off the vibe of having very slight autism.

What else? I went to this press junket roundtable with Mark Hamill who was promoting some new transmedia franchise called New Gen. He sat down at the table and immediately started talking like it was a dinner party mixed with a DVD commentary. I didn't really get to exchange words with him, but my good dude compass points to "easy going mensch" and a friend of a friend told me that he smokes a lot of pot. I started recording the chat at the part where he was talking about his kids. I apologize for the shaky filming. My camera was propped on top of my phone which my editor kept trying to prank call me on.

Check out these photos documenting my Comic Con experience.

A guy dressed like Bane was running around with this Batman dummy and imitating the moment in Knightfall when Batman's spine was snapped in half. Somehow he got better through the magic that is suspension of good writing.

So many cute girls dressed as Finn from Adventure TIme. That show is so good and the ladies who dress up as him seem pretty OK. It's a simple outfit that doesn't take a lot of effort, plus you get to wear a green backpack and really high socks. I think reading VICE gave me the sock fetish I suffer from today. Socks are the lingerie of the non-fucked woman who is not putting on some sort of slut costume to be sexy. Socksluts are functional, brainsome sluts who are sexy but also rational. My kind of slut. The kind of slut you marry. I can't tell from this photo, is this girl still in high school?

See, if you're going to go to the trouble of making yourself a Black Widow costume, don't screw it up with visible panty lines. Thongs are corny/super-unhorny but I'm guessing you aren't wearing a a tight leather jumpsuit for your comfort.

Some people were like,"Where's VICE's booth?" We had one and we were doing signings and giveaways. Pictured here are two of VICE Magazine's most vivacious vixens. On the left is associate editor Ellis Jones and on the right is Peisin Yang Lazo, who I think is like our sexpert or something.

This diorama almost seemed like a threat. It's easy to forget how fucked-up the concept of Godzilla is until you see a miniature recreation of him smashing the exact building you are inside of.

Day two started with me meeting Kevin Brown, AKA Dotcom from 30 Rock! He was so friendly and seemed genuinely psyched to be there! He was charging $5 for signed 8" 10"s, which is a really good deal and it was free to take photos with him. What a great way to start a day!

Then he got to meet the Mario Brothers. They charged him $20 for the photo.

Rob Liefeld was there. A guy dressed as Deadpool was lurking around the table just staring. Rob wouldn't look up so I just took a photo of his pricing guide. I almost considered trying to rip off his commissions price list and make a break for it but then I remembered I'm a coward.

Ambush Bug is one of the most funnest DC comics that most people haven't heard of. The series was created by Keith Giffen, who also invented Lobo. It is absolutely hilarious and a pure joy to behold. Just like this guy.

They had this whole fucking LAN party set up in the corner of the con. The idea of going to a comic convention and then sitting in front of your computer with your headphones on seems like a hilarious waste of time and money. Stan Lee, Mark Hamill, Mike Judge, and the hottest girls to ever like the same nerd shit you like are just wandering around. This is what you do when there's NOT a mindblowing spectacle that you can experience by just turning around and standing up.

I think these were supposed to be not-disgusting. Instead, they are disgusting.

This is one of the coolest things I've seen in years. The girl on the left is this super-graceful dancer and she's teaching the two black guys dressed as Ken and Ryu from Street Fighter the choreographed moves in a Black Eyed Peas-themed motion capture dance game. I'm not being sarcastic about this. These people all ruled and the game even looked like it was fun.

These two girls told me they were supposed to be hipster Disney princesses, like those Tumblr memes where Ariel has thick glasses on and is saying something about lattes. I told them that based on the sign I thought that they were into furries. You know that every beastialitist gets bummed out when the Beast turns human at the end of Beauty and the Beast.

It's another beautiful girl dressed as Finn in front of the humongous Adventure Time balloon. It's nice of these girls to identify themselves as girlfriend material by wearing costumes that say, "I like to dress up but I have stuff going on besides being a full time costume designer." Too bad they always have a guy with them.

This guy got one of GG Allin's tattoos and is wearing an Eraserhead shirt. We had a fun chat about GG. If I was still under 25, we would be best friends.

I think this Totoro is kinda creepy.

A big thing at comic conventions is sitting on the floor. People are always sitting on the floor. You're a goddamn Captain in Star Fleet, find a chair!

Popular child molester meme Pedobear was roaming the premises. Hilarious!

This is former VBS guy and Superjail! creator, Christy Karacas. Pictured with him is a day-ruiningly beautiful girl dressed as a character who appeared in two episodes of his cartoon. I remember the first time he had a Superjail! panel at NYCC and it was almost totally empty and no one came in costume. This time it was packed to the gills and pretty girls showed up dressed as things he'd created. I have never been more happy for one dude.

I was standing next to Jackson Publick's girlfriend when these guys dressed as the creators of the Venture Brothers walked by. If you're a fan of the Venture Brothers then this is an amazing costume.

This thing was huge. You can probably tell that it was huge but it was HUGE.

At the time of this photo being taken I felt a lot of affection for this puppet. I was hit with flashes of desire to climb into the trash can with him and live there and play pinochle.

Pretty girls also like to dress up as Link. This is an established fact but this girl's face was so perfect I was almost in tears. This photo doesn't capture it but it was one of those moments where I had to try not to stare.

Later I did some live painting on my pal Lamour Supreme's piece for Art Whino. If you ever see the final thing, I painted the lizard monster in the top right. You're welcome, art!

This guy blew my mind. While I was bowing down before him, he instructed me to press the red button on his voice box and it produced the eight-second-long scream from Phantom of the Paradise when Winslow punches through the brick wall. I think that George Lucas stole elements of Darth Vader from this character. Check out the POV walking/breathing scene and his chest box thing on YouTube to see what I mean.

Awesome! I love seeing the Monarch's henchman around. Always makes me smile.

I thought I'd go and see the Beavis and Butt-Head presentation but it turns out that absolutely every other person had the same idea. The line to get in was segmented into four masses of people. A few managed to cut the line at the last second but the con staff were pretty vigilant. It was clearly the event to be at. That and the Avengers panel.

By the tenets of The Game you have to announce, aloud, "I just lost the game."

I went over to hug her but then when I got near I saw the braces, felt gross, and just asked if I could take her photo. It's weird how much I used to hug my friends when I was younger. I still hug them too often but I used to really overdo it.

Oh my, it is Lady Data. She had yellow contacts in and everything. I told her about my recent meeting of Brent Spiner at Dragoncon and how boss it was. She was enthralled.

How many fetishes can you spot in this photo? The cat ears are a little much though. New York Comic Con 2011 was awesome and I wish there was another one this weekend.