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If you get into heated arguments with Greenpeace canvassers and routinely go on rants about the evils of PETA, why not throw your support to Frac Daddy? This horse is, of course, named after the controversial natural gas extraction technique—primary owners Carter Stewart and Ken Schlenkermade their money in the oil and gas business. They decided not to name him “Frack Daddy,” I guess, because spelling, like environmentalism, is for loosers.You Love Diversity
Horse racing is one of the few sports where men and women compete on the same playing field. There have been a number of jockettes (“lady jockeys”) who have ridden in the Derby, but none of them have won, yet. Rosie Napravnik’s ninth-place finish in the 2011 race is the best to date from a female rider, and she’ll be atop Mylute for this year’s edition.Meanwhile, Kevin Krigger, who will be riding Goldencents, is the third African American jockey to ride in the Derby since 1921. Krigger is relatively unknown, but had arguably one of the best prep races leading up to the Derby, proving he deserves a spot this Saturday. A win by either Napravnik of Krigger would make history at an event that, um, has not always been known for its embrace of progressive politics.
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At the other end of the diversity spectrum are the teams behind Will Take Charge and Oxbow, which consist of old white dudes. Seventy-seven-year-old D. Wayne Lucas is the trainer behind both of those horseletes, and the two jockeys are 50-year-old Gary Stevens (on Oxbow) and 52-year-old Jon Court (on Will Take Charge). If Stevens wins, he’ll cement his legacy as one of the greatest jocks of all time—he won the Derby three times before retiring in 2005, and he’s been a TV analyst and actor since, and played legendary jock George Woolf in the movie Seabiscuit. I guess we’ll “see” if Stevens wins the “biscuit” tomorrow! I’ll show myself out.You Are a Cat Person
There’s a horse in the Derby named Charming Kitten, so ha ha wouldn’t it be funny if that horse won?You Are a Sphere Person
Let’s say you hate cats, and you hate dogs too. You do like enjoy though—you have a half-dozen perfectly round balls you cherish as if they were your own children. You spend hours every day caring for them and playing with them and taking photos of them to share on Instagram, and no, mom, that’s not “weird” or “a reason to go back to seeing Dr. Leibowitz twice a week.” So you’re really, really hoping that the horse named Orb, the 7-2 favorite, wins.You Give a Crap About Gambling
If, like me, you actually know about horse racing, you know that the way to make money off of your wagers is to get a little bit more exotic than just picking the winner—you need to pick the first two finishers in order (what’s called an exacta), the first three (a trifecta), or the first four (a superfecta). While making these bets can get expensive, payouts can reach the thousands of dollars if a longshot comes in first or second. The bet I’m making this year will cost $90, and it is this:$1 exacta box
2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 14, 17, 20In English, that means that if any two of those ten horses finish first and second, I’ll get paid—probably not very much, but maybe enough to buy some more pet spheres.