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New Study Suggests Coffee Makes Your Dick Work Good

Apparently, one to three cups a day keeps the erectile disfunction away.
May 20, 2015, 7:23pm
Photo via Flickr user Hirotaka Nakajima.

The University of Texas has released the results of a study conducted by their Health Science Center concerning caffeine consumption and dicks. The study found that men who consumed 85 to 170 milligrams of caffeine per day were 42 percent less likely to report erectile disfunction symptoms, and men who consumed between 171 and 303 milligrams of caffeine were 39 percent less likely to report symptoms. For the record, there's anywhere from 95 to 200 milligrams of caffeine in a cup of coffee. A UT press release stated:


According to the journal article, the suggested biological mechanism is that caffeine triggers a series of pharmacological effects that lead to the relaxation of the penile helicine arteries and the cavernous smooth muscle that lines cavernosal spaces, thus increasing penile blood flow.

In other words, if you drink enough coffee, your dick muscles are more relaxed, and relaxed dick muscles mean boners.

Five in-depth stories about dicks and/or coffee:

1. We Asked a Paleontologist What Dinosaurs' Dicks Were Like
2. I Tried Smoking Coffee, And It Made Me Feel Like Shit
3. This Guy Turned an "Eat a Bag of Dicks" Joke Into a $150,000 Empire
4. Korean Women Are Starving Themselves to Afford a Cup of Coffee
5. Pollution Is Damaging Polar Bears' Dicks

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