Max is my younger brother, and it’s my older sisterly responsibility to make sure he gets through high school without getting pushed around, especially by girls. It’s kind of hard to look out for him when I’m usually at least 200 miles away but I’m really only concerned about one thing. He’s 18 and never been kissed. I’ve wanted to corrupt him for as long as I can remember but I didn’t want to carry any of the blame if something ever went horribly wrong. My family has already sent him to foreign countries like South Korea and Taiwan so he could romp around Asia by himself and pick up some cute schoolgirls, but I guess the stars were never aligned—the only cheap things he slipped into were Nikes and kimonos, and the only raw thing he put in his mouth was the food. From the looks of your magazine, it seems like you have a considerable hot, slutty girl readership. That’s why I’m pitching this plea to all of you YOUNGER (UNDER 21) and INNOCENT girls to line up for the little guy.
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