The Hangover News

Surprise Neighbourliness
ISRAEL DROVE SEVEN SYRIANS TO A HOSPITAL OVER THE ARMISTICE LINE  
They called it an "exceptional" case, but considering they're technically still at war, it's pretty friendly of them

Photo by FreedomHouse

Israeli troops in the occupied Golan Heights took seven wounded Syrians to an Israeli hospital, marking the first time that Syrians caught up in clashes have been allowed to cross the armistice line with Israel.

Israel have been pulling their Gaza Strip game on Golan Heights, formerly controlled by Syria, for nearly 50 years and the two countries are technically still at war, so no one really unexpected either country to help each other out.

Despite the fact that the fighting in Syria could destabilise all of its neighbouring countries, Israel's policy is to not get involved, although it has retaliated in the last few months when there's been Syrian fire into Israeli territory.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu commented that they're not going to be leaving their door open, but said that they would make exceptions for "a few isolated and exceptional circumstances – each of which will be weighed on its own merit".

Fortuitous Observation
THEY FOUND THE BRITISH BACKPACKER WHO GOT LOST IN THE OUTBACK   
He's already feeling a lot better

Sam Woodhead, an 18-year-old from Richmond, was found "on his last legs" after four days missing in the Australian outback.

Apparently the backpacker had gone for a run, become disorientated and somehow ended up far enough away from where he started that it took a low-flying helicopter to find him.

Woodhead revealed that he had resorted to drinking contact lens solution and his own urine, lost two stone and knew that cars and horses wouldn't be able to reach him while he was lost in the outback, which begs the question: what terrain can a disorientated man handle that a horse can not?

Sam is recovering well and should be "restored to his former health" in about a month.

Catholicism in 2013
THE FINAL MASS FOR LONDON'S GAY CATHOLICS WAS HELD IN SOHO
Because maybe that will make all those pesky gay Catholics disappear 

(via)

The final mass for gay Catholics at Our Lady of the Assumption Church in Soho – where they've been held for the last six years – took place on Sunday, after Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols announced he would abolish them at the beginning of the year.

Gay rights charity Stonewall has said it was a "real shame", which sounds kind of blasé for a gay rights charity remarking on a huge knock to gay rights.

Mind you, it's been acknowledged that Nichols is privately a supporter of the gay Catholic group, has encouraged them to continue at a church in Mayfair and only banned the mass after pressure from the Vatican.

So the good news is that it isn't the Archbishop of a British city who's still hung up on men loving men and women loving women, it's just the central HQ of a religion that speaks to 1.2 billion people around the world.

Captivating Innovations in Television
NORWAY'S LARGEST TV CHANNEL ANNOUNCED IT WILL BROADCAST 12 HOURS OF BURNING WOOD
Don't worry, it's accompanied by commentary on chopping, stacking and also burning wood

Norwegian NRK network have announced that they will be broadcasting 12 hours of footage of a burning fireplace – a move that's been described as "slow but noble television" by the network's head of programming, Rune Moeklebust.

As if they even dreamed they'd need something more to pull in viewers, NRK made the simultaneously shocking and thrilling announcement that the footage will be accompanied by commentary and advice on "subjects like burning, slicing and stacking the wood".

Mr Moeklebust also claimed that "people in Norway have a spiritual relationship with fire" and that the production was inspired by something confusing about a popular Norwegian book that has a pun on "firewood" in its title.

A date has not been announced for the broadcast, but online subscriptions to Norwegian television are presumably going to sky-rocket in anticipation.

Bizarre Legislations
REPUBLICAN REPRESENTATIVES INTRODUCED A BILL CRIMINALISING NIPPLE EXPOSURE
Any woman caught nip-slipping would face six months in prison 

(via)

Republican state representatives in North Carolina have proposed a bill that would make it a Class H felony to expose any amount of "the nipple, or any portion of the areola, of the human female breast".

Because that's not laughable enough, they specified that depending on the intent of the exposure, women could face up to six months in prison for a full nipple baring, with "more mundane" exposure resulting in a 30-day sentence.

Let's assume the bill will be abolished when the representatives realise how ridiculous and mean it sounds to send a "human female" to jail for 30 days after telling her that her nipples are mundane in a public court of law.