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AUSTIN - COMPLETELY IGNORING BANDS (DAY TWO)


Woke up around noon and decided to go downtown and see if there was any gay action happening. It took us all of 20 minutes to figure out that SXSW is totally straight and sort of a drag. Hunx had to play a show at Beerland around 2PM so we hung around outside the venue, smoking cigs and drinking free booze (one small perk of being in a band, I guess). Just as we were about to give up hope, low and behold this guy came across our queerdar.

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He sort of looked like a really skinny glam version of Perez Hilton and I think Hunx had a crush on him, although he would never admit it. Anyway, this dude told us he was playing a show at Beauty Bar in 30 minutes with Juliette Lewis and her band the "New Romantiques." HAHAHA! So,we all fagged out and decided we finally had a reason to appreciate music once again!

We got to Beauty Bar and caught the end of that dude's band (Semi Precious Weapons) set. It was like glam rock or something? He shouted "rock n roll" a good three billion times, which was cool I guess. And accurate, that too.


Nylon TV was there and made us blow kisses to the camera until Juliette and the New Romantics graced the stage.


We pushed our way to the front and felt right at home with a crowd equal parts lesbian and paparazzi. Julliette was really FEELING it and so were we! I texted my Mom during her set and told her that Julliette farted into the microphone.


Brontez and Alexis got into some fight with a crusty punk dude outside of Beauty Bar wearing the same get up as Alexis, which must have been really embarrassing for him because that bra had been custom made for Alexis by his friend Target, Bitch.


We headed back to the hotel to relax with some cable TV before heading back into the storm of big-boy-buddy-buttlicker rock n' roll SXSW blah blah blah. Unfortunately our hotel room was way below our standards!


Brontez found a nipple/clit/tongue ring on one of the beds, so Funxalina called the front desk in a desperate attempt to get a refund, but was denied when she started laughing due to watching the infamous "pottery scene" in Ghost, which was playing On Demand. I must say, watching Ghost was the perfect segue into our ethereal night out on the town… TO BE CONTINUED LATER TODAY, PROBABLY

Click here to read part one.