FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Vice Blog

UPDATE INDONESIAN-STYLE

So what would a forbidden dalliance with a flirtatious cow be without the consequent shotgun cow-wedding?

Last week Ngurah Alit, the Bali teenager who was found fucking a cow in a rice paddy after mistaking it for a young lady "calling to him and making flattering comments" from the darkness, and his beloved were married in a small village ceremony surrounded by friends and loved ones and people forcing him to marry a cow.

As beautiful and eye-misting as the occasion must have been, weddings are by nature extremely stressful events which explains why Ngurah passed out shortly before enjoying his first taste of matrimonial bliss.

Unfortunately, the cow then had to die: "As part of the ceremony, Alit's victim and new bride was drowned in ocean."

Sad, but at least they'll always have that night in the paddy. Alit was "drowned" too, but only in a symbolic throwing-all-his-wedding-clothes-into-the-ocean fashion. Whatever. He probably won't be needing them anytime soon.

ADAM MARTIN