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Vice Blog

LONDON - THE CHOIR QUIT SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

In five nasty minutes listening to the radio this morning, I learned that today was the center point of London's record-breaking "level three" heat wave, which will eventually explode into violent and unpredictable weather patterns. I also learned that we were now in "phase six" of the swine flu pandemic, and that right now the terrorist alert is "severe," which is another way of saying that it's slightly more likely today than it was yesterday that your bus to work will soon be converted into a chemical warhead.

Even though I'd just awakened from a nightmare that ended with me slitting my own mother's throat, I couldn't abide by that level of official paranoia. Not everything can be melting simultaneously, can it? Then I got into the office to find out that the other two people I work with were off–one because his girlfriend poked him in the eye, the other because he crushed his finger last night (Christ knows how–his texts are spelled too erratically to decipher what happened). And just now I puked. Clearly the world is going through menopause. So thank fuck for this song for helping me not give a shit.

ADAM WHITE