How to Not Suck at Clit Sucking

When it comes to making a cis woman come, you know what they say: If it isn’t about the clit, you can forget about it. Okay, so no one actually says that (though they should), but the point remains that unlike the almost mythical G-spot, clitoral stimulation, especially the oral kind, has long been touted as a top-tier way to give a clit-owner intense orgasms. 

That's the good part. 

The not-so-good is that most people don’t quite know what it takes to actually make women experience the ultimate high when they’re going down on them. Though multiple studies suggest that women are far more likely to orgasm from a little tongue action down below, that doesn’t necessarily mean their partners know how to give it to them. 

“Some guys I’ve been with will just thrust their tongue like they’re trying to make out with my vagina’s lips,” Revati*, a 23-year-old Mumbai-based marketing professional who preferred to stay anonymous, told VICE. “They think that simply by whipping out their tongue and poking and prodding it with no technique, they can make me come. All they make me do, however, is fake it.” 

The clitoris is located above the vaginal opening and is one of the most sensitive erogenous zones due to its high concentration of nerve endings. There’s a myriad of other ways to stimulate the feel-good spot. Clit sucking is one of them. 

Clit sucking is the act of creating a suction-like sensation that can either make a woman feel like you’re trying to polish your whistling skills down there or make her come really, really hard. Sucking on the clit creates a vacuum-like pump that makes the clit even more sensitive by increasing the blood circulation to the region, making the act irresistibly pleasurable.

Clit sucking vibrators and sex toys that mimic the oral sex experience are going through a cultural renaissance of their own. But in case you’re wondering how to turn your mouth into the ultimate pleasure machine, take notes from these experts and vagina owners. 

The first step when it comes to doing literally anything sex-related is to communicate with your partner and make sure they’re relaxed and ready to go (or in this case, come). 

“For first timers, being comfortable with each other, without being in a rush is key,” Laura Halliday, a sex therapist and co-founder of the sex education website School of Squirt, told VICE. “Take it slow and start with a massage that targets other erogenous zones first, then slowly work down towards her pussy.” 

The expert also recommends using your tongue to tease the area around the clit before diving straight in. “The last thing you want to do is go straight in for her vagina without warming up her mind and the rest of her body first.”

Before getting to work, experts also recommend communicating with your partner to understand and discuss exactly what they like. “Reading body language is indirectly related to clit sucking,” Yash Singh*, a 31-year-old social media strategist told VICE, requesting anonymity. “You need to read and observe for cues that her body is giving when you are sucking her clit.” 

According to experts, communication, even the non-verbal kind, is key. “The best experiences and orgasms happen when there's a feedback loop between the receiver and giver, so the giver knows how to adjust the timing and technique for maximum pleasure,” said Halliday. “Although a verbal feedback loop can be helpful, nonverbal feedback loops are more sexy and romantic. Get that right and she’ll probably say "Wow, they just knew exactly what to do.’"

Clit sucking isn’t quite rocket science but that doesn’t mean it’s as simple as mimicking a sucking motion with your mouth either. Experts say that even with the best of intentions (and lips), clit sucking can be quite a conundrum, since there is no specific technique that can guarantee a great orgasm. 

“Try to imagine that you’re sucking on a straw and licking on a lollipop [at the same time],” advised intimacy expert Pallavi Barnwal.  “One tip is to make your lips into an O shape so that it creates a vacuum, then suck on one labia (the folds of skin around the vaginal opening) with your mouth while gently pulling on the other one with your teeth and tongue.” Barnwal also recommends creating circular motions with your tongue to mimic a vacuum while simultaneously sucking air in. 

“Clit sucking can't be just sucking, there has to be variations in that,” added Singh. “While you suck, use your tongue to stimulate it too. Try going circular, sideways, or even just flicking it up and down.” He also pointed out that achieving an orgasm through clit sucking requires creating highs and lows by varying the motions, rhythm and pressure without making them feel like there’s an immersion blender going off on their pussy.

“When my partner touches the tip of my clit using slow motions, it can be even more pleasurable,” B. Das, a 36-year-old IT professional, told VICE. Das added that for her and many other women she’s discussed pleasure with, gentle tongue touches and pressure are ideal, given how sensitive the region can be. 

But that doesn’t mean you switch it up right when the receiver is digging it.

“Not many women can climax easily if the giver is constantly changing the rhythm or technique,” stressed Halliday. “So it makes more sense to play around until you get the right technique, rhythm, and intensity that she finds most pleasurable, and then stick with that.”

Experts also underline the importance of enjoying the moment instead of trying to rush into an orgasm. 

“One thing to keep in mind is that for a lot of women, the biggest turn-on is that the giver is really enjoying the job. This will help her stop feeling like she's being selfish, and stop insecurities she might have about oral sex. So don't get too caught up in the technique and try to make it perfect. If you're going to do it, do it with lots of passion and love, and enjoy giving more than she enjoys receiving.”

Don’t be afraid to experiment

Since the female orgasm is majorly dependent on the buildup, experts recommend throwing in some oral sex toys to truly shake things up. “Try holding a small vibrator in your mouth and gently hold your mouth against her pussy,” recommended Halliday. “The warmth from your mouth and the vibrations are a very pleasing combination and I've seen many couples have their first oral orgasms like this.”

In some cases, when sucking isn’t quite getting the job done, blowing and even some light nibbling can get a woman to kingdom cum. “Blowing creates a cooling sensation that makes the area even more sensitive and [excitable],” said Barnwal. She added that alternating between sucking and blowing can also make for an interesting experience. 

“I like my clit to be gently nibbled and then sucked on, almost like you’re mimicking the motions of blowing a miniature dick,” said Revati.  She added that while sex toys were also a great way to spice things up, a combination that alternates between blowing, sucking and nibbling can be exhilarating. 

“Don’t be afraid to take your time,” said Barnwal. The expert also concluded that maintaining eye contact while sucking on her clit could make the experience even hotter. “Imagine you have a brush between your teeth and make gentle, light strokes with it. And whatever you do, don’t use it like a hammer.” 

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This article was updated for clarity on July 21, 2022.