If there's one thing that should be a source of consistency and comfort during these turbulent times, it's burgers—more specifically, mass-produced fast-food burgers that always taste exactly the same. But even that assumption can't be made anymore.
Not content to sling just Whoppers and Big Macs anymore, the BK and Golden Arches are looking for different ways to feed a global population that is apparently hungry for change, or at the very least, distraction.
McDonald's Italy is offering a new burger that sounds like the invention of a daydreaming stoner. It's called the "Sweety con Nutella," a concoction that the burger giant describes as "A soft sweetness has arrived that you will not be able to resist. Try Sweety with Nutella now: soft bread with a creamy, indulgent center!"
Something tells us we will be able to resist this sandwich, but we may not have our finger on the pulse of what people want in this bizarre world anymore. The original Facebook post on McDonald's Italy's page has gotten more than 56,000 likes and 59,000 shares since being posted on Thursday. And, yes—you can only get it in Italy. Sorry, Nutella lovers.
Meanwhile, Burger King Russia is proud to announce the release of a "Trump Burger," according to Sputnik News and CBS News. "Following the US elections, Burger King Russia will very soon release the new 'Trump Burger'," the burger chain reportedly stated.
The burger is a riff on their existing "Angriest Whopper," which comes topped with the chain's spiciest hot sauce, onion rings, and jalapeño peppers. "In fact, this is a double 'Angriest Whopper'. The only difference is that you can't order any sauces or food of Mexican origin," Burger King Russia allegedly told Sputnik News. (MUNCHIES has reached out for comment and confirmation of the previous quote from Burger King, but has not yet received a response.)
Whether that last part is in jest or not isn't entirely clear, but these are the times we live in now.
We have stepped through the looking glass, friends. Or, in the words of Leonard Cohen, "I've seen the future, brother: it is murder."