Twitter turned ten years old yesterday and in doing so gave us all a chance to reflect on just what we love about the blue birdy bastard so much. The answer? Twitter beefs of course. Without 140 character spats would there really be anything interesting about it all? Just think back to some of the classic Twitter beefs of all time: Joan Rivers versus Rihanna, Katy Perry versus Chief Keef, and of course, what we thought was the greatest Twitter beef of all—the Arab Spring.
Well, you can officially add another beef to that big list of classic twitter beefs you've got. Forget Caitlin Moran versus Limmy, as of today the greatest Twitter beef ever is: 'the time Diplo slagged off Zedd for making a song paid for by M&Ms and then Deadmau5 weirdly got involved'. The great thing about 'the time Diplo slagged off Zedd for making a song paid for by M&Ms and then Deadmau5 weirdly got involved' is just how exciting the content of the exchange was. Let's see how it played out.
First Diplo took shots at Zedd's newest song, because it featured a "fake flume drop" and was made in conjunction with the manufacturer of a popular button-shaped chocolate.
Then Zedd, wounded by Diplo's jibe, came back calling Diplo a "jealous little bitch" and asking him to "shut the fuck up."
Diplo, never one to take being asked to "shut the fuck up" lightly, told Zedd he thought he was a "young and talented musician" who didn't need to sell himself short. Diplo then told Zedd he had at some stage had sex with Zedd's girlfriend.
Then Deadmau5 arrived!
So what have we learnt? Well, there might be a conversation to be had here about the relationship between art and commerce, and whether a piece of music is still valid if it has been paid for by a sponsor, but I'm not sure the above really merits that. What we have here is a load of actual grown adult men—men with hair under their armpits, bank accounts, and driving licenses—genuinely spatting on terms less civilised than you'd expect on an after-school MSN messenger session between a group of horny year 9s. So Diplo thinks Zedd's new track sucks—doesn't mean he needs to publicly humiliate the poor fucker. Zedd disagrees but instead of standing by his choices he calls Diplo out for being jealous of the money he's making. And then Deadmau5 wades in uninvited, leading us to believe at this point that he is pathologically attracted to petty conflict like a fly to shit.
So there you have. Three rich men arguing about the ways in which they are all getting exponentially richer. A truly iconic Twitter beef.