This story is over 5 years old.


Asahd Khaled Is Working Harder Than All Of Us

DJ Khaled's infant son is already an exec producer on his dad's forthcoming full-length. And he's been blessed by Justin Bieber.

So here's something personal that I'm only willing to share with my closest friends and the entire Internet: I love the self-checkout aisles in grocery stores. I never worked in a supermarket, nor have I ever worked at a Target or a CVS. So I never really "checked out" customers and their items. I mean, I worked at a record store, but the scanning and bagging process was highly overlooked by my judging the musical choices of customers.


So yeah, I have this weird FOMO when it comes to working a proper register. So much so that I lurk at self-checkout stations and scan items gleefully and bag them. Like I might as well just wait there and do it for everyone who stops by. I should wear a red smock and a nametag while I'm at it. The truth is, my entrée into the workforce consisted of working at 13 for my uncle's law office and then working at a record store. I took a couple of other shitty office jobs before deciding I didn't belong in an office and went straight for writing. Now I'm a fucking hippie who sits at home all day and writes about Instagram for Noisey, while fantasizing about scanning items at Target. Because of that, I feel like Asahd Khaled and I might be kindred spirits, since he will also never work a register in his life. One day he too might have severe supermarket FOMO and head for the self-checkout. Hell, he may buy his own grocery store just so he can pretend to be a cashier.

Right now though, he's the Executive Producer of his dad DJ Khaled's upcoming album Grateful. Asahd is like four months old. I know this because his first appearance on Instagram was this post from his dad in November:

It wasn't long before Asahd was put to work. And we've seen the memes, right?

Ones like this one where we're reminded that DJ Khaled says in every other Snapchat story that Asahd is executive producing his new album. And it feels like it's a joke, but is it really? Judging by Instagram, this kid looks like he's working harder than most of us ever have. Like, I'm not even kidding.


Exhbit A: Asahd is only a few days old and already being forced to read his father's memoir. I mean, it was an easy read, but shit he can't even talk yet.

He's already hanging out with Nicki Minaj. He should actually change his name to Meek Mill since he's being carried by Nicki too. ZING! I KID I KID I KID I KID.

Speaking of MMG, he's hanging out with Rozay. That Meek joke would also apply here, but I'm gonna refrain because I'm a Meek Mill fan.

Then he got to meet Future.

Okay, so when he was just a week old, he received "the keys." No wonder he was put right to work. He's got a legacy to uphold.

And here's the big announcement: Asahd is one of the Executive Producers on "Grateful."

Then he started dressing like an Executive Producer of a hip-hop album.

Before you know it, Uncle Drake bought him his first chain. It's all downhill from here, kid.

Then he's making TV appearances.

He's already in the Ivy Leagues at Harvard.

He already earned the title of "mogul."

Showing up courtside at basketball games like moguls do.

Partaking in "FAN LUV."

Here comes the life coaching.

Okay, now here comes the important part. So all of that schmoozing stuff before was just the warm up. You know, the rubbing elbows with celebs, cool clothes, getting your first chain, blah blah blah. Here's the press conference where DJ Khaled announced Grateful was coming and Asahd had to be there for feedback.


Then came the Grammy's tuxedo fitting.

Just a reminder that Asahd is the Executive Producer.

Cover art model for the "Shining" single.

Then he had to start managing his own social media account.

Taking A DAY OFF FROM THE STUDIO AND THE OFFICE. I'm so sleepy watching this baby work, that I need a nap.

So now what? He's gotta make the beats too?

He got promoted from MOGUL to DON. This is like that moment in The Devil Wears Prada when Andrea officially replaces Emily in Miranda's mind and gets to go to Paris. The gift and the curse.

See? He's already clocking in those studio hours. Yeesh.

Blessed by the hand of the Biebs.

Back in that damn studio. He only looks happy because he has no idea that children are supposed to be playing and not working. Like, this is all he knows. Omg.

Still in the studio…

He forgot that chain real quick now that Drake is late on his vocals.

Introducing Ed Sheeran at the IHeartRadio Awards.

Hold up. Now he's replacing Biggie as the G.O.A.T.? What's happening here?

Now he's on a film set. Apparently Asahd is in Pitch Perfect 3.

UGHH, nice watch, kid.


Now he knows G4 pilots on a first name basis.

Yup, it's official. Now Asahd is an actor too. SMH.

I'd like to leave this whole timeline with this: a rare moment where Asahd Tuck Khaled gets to hang out on the beach and not Executive Produce an album, present an award, appear on a talk show, get carried by a rap star, star in a major motion picture, FaceTime his father 500 times a day, and check on Drake vocals. How does he do it? I'm getting exhausted just watching him. I can't wait for Grateful to drop, mainly so Asahd can get a vacation. Brb heading to the self-checkout at Target to decompress.

Kathy Iandoli will never work as hard as Asahd Khaled has in the first four months of his life. Follow her on Twitter/Instagram @kath3000.