New York is a city of hardworking hustlers. We demand greatness of it in the same way that we grind at our jobs. The 8.4 million of us who live here do the daily grind hard, and we demand just as much from the metropolis itself. We're some of the most critical eaters on Earth, so bad restaurants and bars are not long for this world.

Do you crave pizza and Michelin-starred restaurants? Expect your espresso to be pulled with expertise and efficiency in under five minutes? Crave late-night deli sandwiches and the bodega cats that keep them company? Enjoy cocktails with names that are more complicated than some of the sentences in A Brief History of Time? Curious about restaurants with chefs that are making dishes that couldn't exist anywhere else? Good. You've come to the right place.

This place is huge, and there's far too many choices for the average diner to sift through; too many, in fact, that Woody Allen is probably having an anxiety attack over deciding on something right now. But rather than trolling some Instagram foodie account to stay up on this week's sexiest restaurant, cast your cynicism aside and use this guide as if it were your best friend: the one who might know what soigné means and isn't afraid of potentially catching Hepatitis A from the dirtiest food stall in New York because it has "those" noodles that "will change your life" or something. This guide is your lifeline for almost all of your cravings, from a stiff drink at that neighborhood haunt to the fancy cocktail bar where it's actually worth paying $15 for something with a giant ice cube floating in it; the fancy restaurant with the dish that you will reference on your death bed; the cool establishments that have that je ne sais quoi because YOLO.

Whether you've just moved here or have been slamming espressos on 9th street since the womb, we want to help your cravings feel a little less overwhelming. Cast your cynicism aside and accept that there's a hell of a lot of ground to cover in your dining future. Besides, you'll never be able to eat at every great destination in New York in your lifetime, so just roll with it.

In order to ease your search, we came up with ten filters so you can control what you want from our New York buffet:

Chef's Night Out Picks: The cravings of New York's greatest chefs, as seen in our video series, Chef's Night Out.

Action Bronson's Picks:Mr. Wonderful's favorite New York dining experiences, as witnessed on Fuck, That's Delicious.

Fancy: Places to visit when mom and dad or your hedge fund bestie are buying.

On a Budget: Because let's face it: We're young and broke.

Dive Bars: Honest watering holes where you can experience the greatest nights of your life.

Cocktail Bars: Places that provide delicious things into a glass, regardless of whether or not the bartender has a handlebar mustache and prefers to go by the title "mixologist."

Late-Night: The godsends that are always open until the crack to ease your hanger and impending hangover.

Cool Shit: Weird and exciting places with amazing atmospheres, and mediocre environments with incredible food.

And lastly, the most important filters of all:

Coffee and Pizza: The essentials that fuel almost every New Yorker's diet.

Our guide is mobile friendly, so give yourself a break from Pokémon GO and experience something extraordinarily tasty in one of our glorious boroughs. You can also locate our guide to New York under our brand new tab "Go" on the MUNCHIES homepage.

And as if this news wasn't exciting enough, we'll be piling on more cities for you to explore your gluttonous tendencies very soon… So until then, happy eating and drinking.

Like what you see? Have a request? Send us an email at: munchies@vice.com.