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Horrorshow Goal Opens MLS Cup Final Inside 30 Seconds

A mess of a goal opened last night's MLS Cup Final. It was not the ideal advert for the league.

David Beckham reportedly wants to make his long-awaited MLS side a global superpower that can attract the world's top players. Humbly referred to as Miami Beckham United, the former England star's plans are getting closer to reality after he and his partners acquired land in the city's Overtown neighbourhood for a stadium.

But if Beckham watched the opening goal in last night's MLS Cup Final between Portland Timbers and Columbs Crew, he will have realised that any hope of attracting world-class players is a long way off. Portland's opener was not a great advert for the league.


I mean, come on. You see these conceded in seven-a-side games when the weakest player on the pitch take his turn in goal. You should not see them in a game between what must surely be considered the best two sides in U.S. football. And less than half a minute in, by the way.

The celebration is something else, too. I'd probably just jog back to the centre circle with my head down after that one. Diego Valeri gives it the full treatment, including passionate kisses to the man upstairs.

The Timbers went 2-0 up a little over five minutes later when Rodney Wallace capitalised on some slack Columbus defending to head home. It's worth pointing out that this is not the same Rodney Wallace who played over 200 games for Leeds United between 1991 and '98. Give MLS some credit.

But give its fans less, or at least those of Columbus Crew, because as Wallace wheeled away to celebrate they rained a barrage of cans and other objects down on the Costa Rican.

Which is not cool. You can throw insults at opposition players as much as you like, but not random shit that could easily hit an innocent steward or a photographer. C'mon, it's only the MLS Cup Final, guys.

The Timbers went on to win 2-1, with a goalkeeping error at the other end of the pitch allowing Columbus back into the match, albeit to no avail. Meanwhile, the good ship Miami Beckham United sails onwards.