What Are Olympic Visitors More Scared of, Aliens or Terrorists?

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If you've watched The VICE Guide to The Olympics, you'll be aware by now that at some point during the London 2012 Games, alien starships will appear in the grey, oppressive skies above London. At this stage, the only thing up for debate is whether they'll be fake, holographic ones put there by the New World Order as an excuse to enslave us all beneath the yoke of a one-world government, or if they'll actually be real. As someone who doesn't place much stock in bullshit conspiracy theories, my hunch is it'll be the latter.

But if the inevitable extraterrestrial invasion isn't gonna be enough to contend with, we also have to consider the more mundane possibility that London will be subject to some act of religious terrorism. I headed down to meet the crowds outside the Olympic Stadium in the hours leading up to Danny Boyle's opening ceremony to see what people were most scared of – aliens or terrorists?

Ma, from China.

VICE: What do you think of the Olympics?
I think it’s an interesting meeting and it's nice to see so many people from different parts of the world having a big party.

But what about the police, Ma.
Errrrm. I think they are professional but the number is not enough.

I was worried you'd say that.
Yes, not enough police! And it's hard to say if they have the professional skill to guard the safety of the Olympics.

What about the impending alien invasion?
What do you mean? Alien invasion? UFO?

Do you think there will be one?
I think it’s possible. Some people are aliens. I believe it.

What are you scared of more, aliens or terrorists?
Terrorists more, because it's not the time for the aliens to tell us they are alive in the world. It’s not the time.

Ahmed (left) and K, from North West London.

What do you make of all the police knocking about?
K: There’s too many of them. I can’t handle it.

What are you scared of more, terrorists or aliens?
Ahmed: My mum.
K: Nah, I’m scared of aliens more.

Have you heard that the governments of the world are going to stage a fake alien invasion during the Olympics?
I don’t know. I never heard, but still… Aliens won’t scare me, like.

Got anything else to add?
Ahmed: Suck your girl.
K: Yeah, you're a cockroach, man.

Thanks.

Rachel (left) and Suzanne, from Canada.

Do you guys think there's a terrorist threat to the Olympics?
Suzanne: If we did we wouldn’t be here.

There are rumours circulating that the world's leaders will stage a fake alien invasion during the Olympics, in order to force an emergency "Earth government" into power. Thoughts?
Not at all, if they can’t save the Euro and there is only 17 nations, ain’t no way all of them are getting together to conspire.

Are you more scared of terrorists or aliens?
Rachel: Aliens.
Suzanne: But we went to Stonehenge and nothing landed there, so I think we are probably OK.

Tammy (left) from, South Africa and Rebecca, from New Zealand.

Nice face paint.
Both: Thanks!

What do you make of all these machine guns?
Rebecca: I haven’t felt it, really. Everyone is really smiley and welcoming. It’s good.

Are you more scared of terrorists or aliens?
Erm. Having too much fun, probably!

Have you heard that the New World Order will be staging a fake alien invasion during the Olympics?
Totally, I’m all for that. I’ll be in the front row cheering. I love New Order. They should come party with us.

Daniel from Chicago, USA.

Have you heard the rumours of the New World Order staging an alien invasion during the Olympics?
Ha. I hadn’t heard that but it seems absolutely credible.

What are you scared of more, terrorists or aliens?
Definitely more scared of aliens. I think they are more likely to strike than terrorists.

Are you excited for the Olympics?
Yes absolutely, I’m here with the official educators of Team USA and we have 50 student athletes here, including Peter Vanderkaay, who is a swimmer and will be competing tomorrow.

Do you think Peter Vanderkaay is worried about the imminent alien takeover?
No, I think he’s pretty focused on the 400 freestyle [which is probably true, seeing as he picked up a bronze medal in it].

Facundo, from Argentina.

Hi, who are you and why are you here?
Facundo: My name is Facundo Campazzo and I am here to play basketball for Argentina. I play my first game on Sunday.

What do you make of East London?
Facundo’s translator: Very nice and very organised for the athletes. It’s nice seeing other athletes that work as hard as he does.

Er, OK… What does Facundo think of the rumours about a New World Order-staged alien invasion happening during the Games?
Facundo’s translator: He can’t answer that. The Olympic Committee won’t allow him to.

So maybe there is some truth in it after all… Ask him if he’s scared of aliens.
Facundo's translator: Tienes miedo de los extranjeros?
Facundo: I don’t worry about aliens, just about basketball and winning the tournament.

It's commendable to see such bravery when your very freedom may be at stake. Have you ever seen Space Jam?
Facundo's translator: He says no.

Previously: Is There an Afterlife for Animals?

More Olympics:

The VICE Guide to The Olympics

Thoughts On an Opening Ceremony

Hanging Out at the Olympics Taxi Protest

We Snuck Into a Top Security Olympic Arena

How to Deal with Olympic Tourists