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Yeah, I could do. I sometimes find myself needing a back-up penis, so I suppose that could help.

Is it his own? Or someone else’s?Someone else’s.
Oh, OK. Well, there are numerous possibilites. He could have done up his flies and serrated it with the zip. Y'know: chopped it off and – bang – it just landed in the wallet.Would you pretend it was yours?
Yeah, I’d say it was mine. Had an accident this morning, put it in my wallet just in case.In case you get a chance to sew it back on?
Yeah, you never know when you’re going to find someone with a thread and needle. Is it just the one?Yeah, it’s not a menagerie.
If it’s more than one you could pass it off as some sort of hobby.


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Ah, I don’t know if I can explain that, really. I think at that point you’ve just got to hold your hands up and admit it. You’ve got to give up the game, really.So you wouldn’t try and get away with it?
Nah. If there's one thing I've learnt in life so far, it's that when you get found with bollocks in your wallet, you’ve just got to take it on the chin.

Zach: I’d say I was framed. You don't want to be known as the guy who was found with balls in his wallet.
Bryan: Yeah. Sometimes you might find 20 bucks in your pocket that you didn’t realise you had, which is great, actually. But a pair of balls? There'd be no point in explaining, you'd sound like an idiot any way you approached it.
Jesse: I’d say it wasn’t my bag.Bags were never involved – they're in your wallet.
Jesus. Is it bigger than mine? I could just say I'd bought a new one for an upgrade and was keeping it in my wallet until I got the chance to have it sewn on.I can definitely see someone using that excuse and being laughed at.

Amina: Yeah. I mean, I clearly didn’t bloody do it, did I?But what if you did?
Claire: I’d pretend I was mad, I think.
Amina: Oh! Simple – I'd just saw it was my own. How about that one?You are a girl. That would not work.Previously - What's the Most Disturbing Thing You've Seen Online?