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The American She-Devil Has Finally Arrived

It seems like Barbara Harris has been lurking malevolently on the British horizon for months. But she's finally landed and has started mutilating Britain's drug addicts for society's gain. Babs is sort of like Josef Mengele disguised as Vera Drake; she's the founder of Project Prevention, that group of Americans who pay drug addicts to be sterilized, and now she's finally found the first Brit willing to have his sperm deactivated for cold hard cash.

The first Brit is a guy from Leicester called "John" (I'm assuming that John isn't his real name and that his parents didn't Christen him with quote marks - though that would go some way to explaining why the existential conflict which drove him to drugs). "John" accepted £200 to have the operation, which, on Leicester prices, might be just about the right amount of money to buy him enough smack to kill himself, which is probably what Barbara secretly wants.

What is it about America breeding such a mega-generation of globally significant evil women? When Sarah Palin first came out she seemed like the Goblin Queen with a personal arsenal unmatched by any of the five largest armies of Europe, but now she's been totally superseded by that witch Christine O'Donnell who used to be a shit comedian who now wants to ban liberals from jerking off. She's so bad she's leading Palin's bunch of small-government conservatives into a pact with the thuggish psychos of the English Defense League, thereby making Palin look good by comparison (just like when The Bravery came out and suddenly The Killers didn't seem so awful).

And now Barbara Harris is the big cheese. I don't get it, England produces one evil and powerful women every generation: Margaret Thatcher, Ann Widdecombe, Mary Queen of Scots; but America's full of them. Why? Is there a Tampax factory on an ancient Indian burial ground or something?

BASH STREET SID