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Some Idiots Think They're Being Brainwashed by CAPTCHAs

The Civil Rights Defenders' CAPTCHAs ask users a civil rights-related question—like how do you feel about the Albanian Vice Minister of Defense thinking gays should be beaten with a stick?—and provides three opinion-based answers. Some people, however...

The inspiredly-named Swedish civil rights organization, Civil Rights Defenders, recently launched their own spin on CAPTCHAs (those irritating, unintelligible words that you have to type into that little box on secure websites) in an attempt to verify the empathy levels—and thus the humanity—of anyone typing words into said box. Those boxes are pretty essential nowadays, considering the amount of bots, trolls and horses that stalk the internet, but, until now, nobody's bothered putting much thought into what actually goes in them. Probably because no one cares what goes into them.


The Civil Rights Defenders' CAPTCHAs ask users a civil rights-related question and provide three opinion-based answers. For example: "The Albanian Vice Minister of Defense, Ekrem Spahui, thinks that gays should be beaten up with a stick. How does that make you feel? Fascinated, homesick, or terrible?" Then lets you through if you input the right answer.

Although it mostly provokes laughter over deep, ponderous thoughts—the prospect of feeling "sexy" about Serbian police cancelling a Pride parade sounds like a Steven Wright joke—it's a fundamentally nice idea and is obviously intended purely for good. However, some people aren't OK with having their opinion about Albanian ministers beating gays with sticks dictated to them. Some people want more options when it comes to expressing their opinions about homophobic physical abuse. People like the guy who sent this email. Let's call him Tom.

OK, fair point—it's certainly not a faceless spam filter's place to decide if your opinion is right or wrong, but seriously, Tom, we're talking about a CAPTCHA here. Regardless of whatever good-willed message it's trying to convey, a CAPTCHA is never going to change the world. Plus, CAPTCHAs have always been and always will be the most fucking annoying thing on the internet—you can't get around that—so does this really justify getting as embarrassingly butthurt as you did?

Some more people who have a problem with other people trying to bring attention to civil rights issues.

These reactions epitomize that Reddit-bred attitude of pointlessly attacking something for the sake of attacking something. A new class of pseudo-intelligentsia who hurl shit through their keyboards, swept up in the delusion that it'll make them appear enlightened and discerning. Yeah, we get it guys; it's not the Kosovans who are tortured in prison being denied their basic civil rights, it's you, for being force-fed an answer that you would have written anyway if it weren't for the whole multiple choice thing.

Tom's email would actually be kinda funny if it were just a flippant piece of trolling, written to amuse himself between masturbating and scrolling through the LOL Feed, but it's not. It's an earnest admission of how offended he is for not being given more options of opinion on a FUCKING CAPTCHA. Jesus. It's this kind of moronic intellectual posturing that makes me want to not live on this planet any more.

Follow Caisa on Twitter: @caisasoze