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Vice Blog

LOOK BUT DON'T LOOK

This morning I woke up to a text message from my ex-girlfriend that said "remember butthole?" I knew immediately what she was talking about and responded with "you mean butthole sunrise?"

What this is in reference to is how one time, a few summers ago, we were hanging out naked in her bed (it was a bunk bed) when all of a sudden she grabbed the bottom of the top bunk above us and did a summersault right in front of me. As she flipped over, I saw her butthole rise and wink right in my face like a beautiful sunrise.

This got me thinking about how people who have been in a relationship with each other for over three months suddenly become completely disgusting. Other things we did together, and maybe you can admit to having done the same with your significant other, include: picking off the little crud bumps on each other's backs, showing each other particularly interesting bowel movements, and popping each others zits. Spending some time thinking about zit popping today, I decided to search for it on the Internet to see if other couples enjoy doing this, and that's when I chanced upon this video.

Now that video isn't particularly interesting, and has nothing to do with couples being disgusting with one another, but the challenge is to watch it and somehow train your right eye to not be haunted by the words "Neveen's Armpit Boil." Oh, and if you were wondering why I would ever break up with someone who would pop my zits for me and show me butthole sunrises … she farted on me once while we were watching The Notebook.

KELLY MCCLURE