Filibustin' with Willie D - Super PACs Make Some Terrible Political Ads

Corporations are people, too.

Today, the Supreme Court decided to re-affirm its landmark Citizens United decision, which struck down most of America’s key campaign finance laws back in 2010 by claiming that it is unconstitutional to put limits on corporate political spending as a result of protection granted by the First Amendment. Since that ruling, Super PAC’s—“independent” expenditure committees—have gained all the power they need to influence the outcome of an election by spending unlimited amounts of money with little restrictions. The Citizens United political advocacy organization that brought the campaign finance case to the Supreme Court, claims their mission is to put the United States government back in the control of the citizens. The irony is that the ruling in the Citizens United case takes power away from the “citizens” and puts the US government in the hands of corporate interests. This isn’t a freedom of speech issue; it is a front for legalized bribery and corruption.

Come on America, this shit ain’t rocket science. You got corporations and individuals writing million dollar checks to Super PACs and many of the biggest donors are hedge fund managers and investment-associated companies that will benefit immensely from a Mitt Romney ran administration. And you know the first thing Romney is going to do if America is dumb enough to fall for the banana in the tailpipe and vote him into office? He will impose financial deregulations across the board. Then he will make certain that he and his wealthy buddies get all the tax breaks, while the middle class and the poor are left to fend for themselves.

One of the biggest beefs critics have about Super PAC’s is their lack of transparency, especially regarding the way donors can create shell corporations to hide their names. Why are they hiding their names and what are these cowards afraid of? Public retaliation. But it's not just transparency that's the problem, it's big money. So far one of the most despicable Super Pacs, the Karl Rover-run American Crossroads, anticipates raising more than $200 million to spend on the 2012 election in support of Romney. With most of the money raked in being spent on attack ads, I thought I would humor myself and check out some American Crossroad’s paid advertisements.

COOL: OBAMA IS A CELEBRITY

Imagine a Republican advertisement entitled “Cool.” Lol… They are desperate. The ad is a jab at Barack Obama’s popularity. Oh Lord! Watch out for Obama! He might smile, wave, sing a song, or drink a beer. The same conservatives who attack Obama for his fame are the ones who continue to praise Ronald Reagan, a guy who made his name in Hollywood as an actor. Aside from that, he is the president of the United States—assholes. He’s supposed to be famous.

WAH WAHHH: OBAMA MAKES EXCUSES

The problem with this ad is that they attempt to drown out Obama’s words with that funny-horn teacher voice from Peanuts.  Republicans don’t realize that adults sound like that in Peanuts because they are more advanced than the children. Even when they try to make a jab at Obama, the Republicans come off looking about as mature as some snotty-nosed little tykes.

PUBLIC EQUITY: PLAYING WALL STREET GAMES

The ad starts by saying that Obama is attacking private equity, which is miseading. Obama attacked Romney’s record while he was at Bain Capital, not all equity firms. But let’s not forget that many unethical venture capitalists today use methods of acquisition pioneered by Romney during his tenure at Bain.

INDIVIDUAL MANDATE: HEALTHCARE REFORM

This is just some funny shit. It’s interesting that the right talks about how the government mandating health insurance violates our constitutional rights. But it’s cool when the state does it. Get stopped by the police in your car and tell the cop the reason you don’t have insurance is because it violates your constitutional rights and watch what happens. Your silly ass is going to get a ticket.

BACKWARDS: FOUR YEARS OF OBAMA MOVING AMERICA BACKWARDS

Reverse that statement. The truth is Obama has done a great deal to move America forward: 26 straight months of job growth in the private sector, check.  Signed the Jobs Act, which will make it easier for smaller and earlier stage companies to raise capital and also revitalize the US market for initial public offerings, check. Became the first black president, an indication that America has reached a milestone in race relations, check. Saved the American automotive industry, check. Relaxed Anti-American tensions throughout the world, check. Ended the war in Iraq, check. Took out Osama bin Laden, check. Made the appointment of the first Latina to the Supreme Court, check. Signed the healthcare reform laws, check. Saved Wall Street and signed the Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act, check. Reformed education with programs like Race to the Top, check, check, and check…

How will Romney's history of plant-closing buy-outs, putting workers on food stamps, and outsourcing jobs fair in the 2012 election? If voters have any sense, not too good. And these ads don’t help much, because picking them apart is too easy. Damn Karl Rove is this all you got? Romney is a member of a cult religion. You’re going to need to come harder than this in November.

Previously - The NYPD Can Stop-and-Frisk These Nuts

Willie D is a member of the legendary rap group the Geto Boys.

Follow him on Twitter: @WillieDLIVE