FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Vice Blog

NEW YORK - BABY BOYMERS

And completing today's trifecta of sadness, fucking this. It was bad enough when after three to four decades of not caring Boomers suddenly decided to fulfill their "lifelong dream" of being bikers by getting those giant touring cyles with full seats and plastic saddle-bags the size of bass drums and giant antennas. Now they've moved on to tricycles. Tricycles! Please note: we're not on some sort of macho, "that's not a Harley" trip or anything--we could give a shit about authentic biking or hog culture or whatever. We just think that once your arthritis and "diminished sense of balance" have conspired to make you drive the same basic vehicle as a five-year-old maybe it's time to stop pretending you're fucking Sonny Barger. Is there anything this generation won't do to make us involuntarily glance off into the distance while our hands ball into a fist?