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Vice Blog

TORONTO - I'M PREGNANT JK THAT'S HILARIOUS!

 Our intern Patrick is the kind of guy who wakes up hungover on April Fools Day and starts texting his friends to say that people are dead and that girls are pregnant when they're not. He was proud so he saved all the evidence and you can read it here yourself as soon as you want to click on the read more thing. You could do it right now or you can keep reading this lead, we're almost done with it. The names of the non-pregnant ladies have been changed.

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So, first Patrick texted his best lady friend and told her he got his girl pregnant.

Patrick: I ruined my life
Friend #1: What?!?! What happened?
Patrick: Ugh, you're going to kill me.
Friend #1: What did you do..
Patrick: Um. I got her pregnant apparently..
Friend #1: Wtf
Patrick: I'm the worst person.
Friend #1: Whatt
Patrick: April fools! Ha ha ha
Friend #1: You're a fucker. Karma will bite your ass so hard

She got really mad! Then Patrick started talking to his roommate, also named Patrick, and he got his friend going about a fake pregnancy scare too.

pat says: (2:42:28 PM)
dude alison is pregnant
mark says: (2:42:28 PM)
aah good one
mark says: (2:42:32 PM)
april foooolzzz
pat. says: (2:42:42 PM)
yeah i know, great timing on the news
pat. says: (2:42:45 PM)
but its not a joke
mark says: (2:43:34 PM)
how many weeks?
pat. says: (2:43:53 PM)
like 6 or so
pat. says: (2:44:06 PM)
i thought she was on the pill
mark says: (2:44:49 PM)
can i say one thing?
mark says: (2:44:52 PM)
as an option
pat. says: (2:44:54 PM)
sure
mark says: (2:45:01 PM)
here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw
pat. says: (2:45:22 PM)
…can u do it
mark says: (2:45:27 PM)
ya.
pat. says: (2:45:28 PM)
im serious.
mark says: (2:45:54 PM)
its a big windup
mark says: (2:46:01 PM)
itll be hard to get her good…
mark says: (2:48:55 PM)
dude shes not pregnant. tell ehr to check again
pat. says: (2:50:06 PM)
no she got it confirmed twice
pat. says: (2:50:15 PM)
it's. there. i saw the pregnancy test. it was blue
mark says: (2:50:20 PM)
fuck dude, sorry. let's go for a beer and talk about this
pat. says: (2:50:24 PM)
no thanks loser hahah APRIL FOOLS

Then Patrick messaged his other roommate to say Pat was dead but he messed this one up:

Patrick: Dude are you in class?
Aaron: Yeah why?
Patrick: I'm at Toronto General… Pat got hit by a firetruck.
Aaron: Funny
Patrick: Yeah shitty coincidence that he's gonna die on april fools huh
Aaron: That's why I'm talking to him on MSN
Patrick: So tragic. So young.

Then Aaron messaged a girl he knows to prank her but he really messed it up.

Aaron: I'm pregnant.
Norma: I'll bring the coathanger over and we'll do lunch k?