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Vice Blog

AUSTIN - COMPLETELY IGNORING BANDS (PART THREE)


Hunx and His Punx played with Harlem, Girls and No Bunny at this Mexican restraunt called Baby Acapulco a couple blocks form our hotel. The vibe was totally weird, but the Mexican Martinis and unlimited chips and salsa that they provided for the "artists" help soften the blow. I was so bored I ate my weight in nacho cheese and refried beans and began to question humanity and the future of music, which was probably the most I thought about music the entire time I was at SXSW. Thank God Hunx and his Punx went on and helped snap me back into reality.

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Hunx and His Punx were good but I felt bad for Hunx because Alexis was definitely stealing all the attention with his signature moves and undeniable look, so much so that he was signed by Warner Brothers immediately after they finished playing.

No Bunny played and we were convinced he was hands down the sexiest thing we'd seen at SXSW thus far. If only he'd removed those silly underwear and really felt what it was like to have Obama as president.

Harlem were E-mazing! They got signed by both Matador and Sub Pop that night! Work!

Girls were good too. I feel like things will be pretty easy for them. They've got good pop songs and cute boys in the band. There's nothing I can say that won't be said a billion times over in the next few months when they become really hyped and rightfully so.

After what felt like an eternity of watching bands play we took off downtown to meet up with our friends who were throwing some party and supposedly Kanye West was gonna show up and take off his shirt (never happened).

We pulled up to the club where they were DJing and were scared shitless when we saw these huge pictures of total douche-bags framing the outside of their tour bus (A tour bus?!?!?) and the club itself.

On top of that there was a door guy, wearing a suit! HA HA! Can you believe it? Where did this asshole think he was? LA? Paris? Milan? New York City? HA HA HA! What a fuckwad! He tried to tell me that we weren't on the list, but after Alexis threw a fierce fit, he couldn't deny our star-power and let us in. It was odd the door guy had such a problem with us because the clientele seemed to be mostly over 40 and part-time employees at Joe's Crab Shack.

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So we get inside and proceed to dance like our life depends on it. You have to realize that for fags to go more than a couple of days without dancing is like being in HELL!

We were having the best time we'd had in, like, forever when some sorority bitch and her gay-wad faggot BFF had to create drama with us over the fact that we were so fabulous. Her ploy was to get us thrown out on the basis that Brontez had thrown her purse across the dance floor and stolen her phone. First of all, none of us even use phones because they give you cancer, and secondly her purse was pleather. Gross. She tried to get us kicked out of the bar, but thankfully Solange showed up with her dad and he proceeded to beat the shit out of that girl and her BFF.

We ended the night with a brief tour of that tour bus, which made us all feel like we were tripping, except for Brande. It made her have to pee.

CODY CRITCHELOE (photos by Megan Mantia)