Chill, Economist, and Come Numb Your Mind in Vancouver

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

Have you heard the saying that only boring people get bored?

Well, what about people who get mind-numbingly bored, especially when traveling abroad, like the unnamed columnist who writes for Gulliver, a travel blog for the Economist. He (let's assume it's a he) found Vancouver too scenic and livable to be considered exhilarating in any way. For someone who's mind-bogglingly close-minded, I bet he makes for a fun travel buddy. Because if you're going to be interpreting the livelihood of a city based on how gritty or potentially dangerous it is (or once was, in the case he makes against New York and London) you've got to be a good time.

But Vancouver doesn't take it personally. We know it's truly a matter of perspective. And anyone who's spent time there can tell you, the only time your mind will go numb is if you're sampling some of our Snoop-approved BC bud.

Mind-blowing, certainly. Mind-expanding, almost always. But definitely not mind-numbingly boring.

Vancouver doesn't aspire to be one of those places where a good time constitutes hanging your head out of the top of a limo at a bachelorette party, and yelling "Whoohoooo!!!!" at whatever tail walks by. Our priority is quality of life, before anything else—money, work, hustle. It's hard not to be this way when you live in an extraordinarily scenic city encased with life-affirming mountains and the Pacific ocean that's begging to be jogged around. Instead of striving to be, we just be. It's not our fault that we keep topping lists for livability.

But it's easy to see how we can be misinterpreted as being mind-numbingly boring—especially if you're a stuffy Brit who yearns for danger around every corner.

It's true that our patios close at 11 PM and our liquor licenses are baffling. But all that balances out with the dozens of microbreweries that have popped up in the past few years, along with countless marijuana dispensaries. We've got our own brand of fun.

You see, we're chill. We're so chill. How can you be otherwise when mystical outdoor paradises can be found 20 minutes outside the city in any direction. Or if you want to stick closer to town, try hitting any number of our beaches. Depending on what you're after, we've got you covered—or uncovered. Care to tan nude, take mushrooms, and drink margaritas out of a Ziploc bag sold by a guy only wearing a fanny pack? There's a place that will accommodate all those things. Or perhaps you want to surround yourself with tattooed beauties who have their titties out while watching tankers float by? We've got that too.

Or if chilling under a tree in a park is more your thing, have we got a place for you! That shit is city council-approved proof of how chill we are.

But if it was grit and desolation Gulliver was truly after, did he know that Vancouver is home to the Downtown Eastside, Canada's poorest neighborhood? It's a part of the city that, according to the Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS, is known for having the lowest national life expectancy and the highest HIV prevalence in the Western world. If Gulliver didn't know that, then it's probably for the best. We're not particularly fond of poverty tourism. And besides, if you actually spend time there, you'll discover a loving, tight-knit community hell bent on protecting its more vulnerable residents.

And if you really want danger, just visit the next time the Canucks make the Stanley Cup Finals.

Being accused of being mind-numbingly boring isn't going to harsh Vancouver's vibe too much. We're too chill for that. If anything, we hope it'll keep those prone to boredom away, or at least teach them a thing or two about being. Being chill.

Follow Elianna Lev on Twitter.