Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.
- Since you undoubtably spent the long weekend enjoying one or both of the Fyre Fest documentaries, spare some thought (and cash) today for one of the people seriously wronged by the organizers. Netflix's Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened includes the story of Maryann Rolle, who catered thousands of meals for the partygoers after they arrived on the island of Great Exuma only to find there was no festival. But Rolle says she never got paid, and spent $50,000 of her own savings to meet the demand. Last week, she set up a GoFundMe account in an effort to recoup the losses, and, as of Tuesday morning, it's raised $161,772—far surpassing the original goal of $123,000. If you gasped at the audacity of the scam or laughed with schadenfreude at the infoolencers (is that portmanteau working for you?) who fell for it, donating is just the right thing to do. (Disclaimer: The "Fyre" Netflix documentary was produced, in part, by VICE Studios.)
- "Think Taco Bell Is Spicy? An Even Hotter Version Is Coming to Thailand," writes Bloomberg. But if I don't think Taco Bell is spicy, can I get their "dialed up" sauces here in the States?
- I had no idea that pizza places featuring live organ music were A Thing in the '70s and '80s (and that they apparently were the inspiration for Chuck E. Cheese's!) but I adore this CityLab ode to one of the few remaining iterations in Arizona.
- Officials in Wareham, Massachusetts responding to reports of a sick seal on the beach implored the public to not leave their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches lying around where seals can eat them and also warned that "[h]arp seals tend to eat sand when they become stressed and it is not good for them." Which is something I think we can all empathize with.
- A Japanese fashion brand is currently offering a Valentine's Day promotion wherein you can buy your boyfriend a pair of high-end underwear and they'll toss in…a very square loaf of bread by Hiroshima’s Cube The Bakery. I don't have a joke for this, because honestly, it sounds great. Cute carbs are love.
I just assume that every time there is a snowstorm in Canada (which, for the record, I also assume is basically all the time) a "Canadian Man Ice [Skates] Through A Tim Horton's Drive-Thru." Call me when someone orders a coffee from the back of a dogsled.
I, for one, welcome the new wave of Egg influencers.
Buy This (Candle Which Perfectly Compliments A) Bucket
Actually, you'll have to enter a curiously nondescript contest if you want to perfume your entire abode with the savory smell of fast food chain gravy, but, according to a study we covered last week, this might be the key to eating less gravy in the long run.