There's a Sexy Plant-Based Burger Halloween Costume Now Because of Course There Is

Because everyone's first thought after opening a two-pack of Beyond Meat patties is sex.
vegan burger halloween costume

On Friday, the first poster dropped for A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, the Tom Hanks-as-Mr. Rogers movie that is going to make every single one of us ugly-cry on Thanksgiving. In the photo, Hanks is outfitted in the late TV host's signature style, with a red cardigan loosely buttoned over a shirt and tie, and a pair of those canvas sneakers that Rogers changed into at the beginning of every episode.

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That ensemble is so synonymous with Rogers that it's even the basis of a Sexy Mr. Rogers Halloween costume that also materialized on the internet this week. Online lingerie retailer Yandy just released its "Nicest Neighbor" costume, which might look sexy or it might look like you raided Lady Elaine Fairchilde's hand puppet-sized closet. (Literally no one would be surprised if Lady Elaine had been into some freaky shit.)

The $59.95 ensemble includes a shrunken v-neck sweater, a necktie, and a pair of high-waisted short-shorts—but their knockoff King Friday and Daniel Tiger puppets aren't included. The Nicest Neighbor is one of the 1,000-plus Sexy Halloween Costumes that Yandy sells, and it's right up there with the Sexy Wednesday Addams Costume, the Sexy Freddy Krueger Costume (complete with a "burned skin hood") and the Sexy Bob Ross Costume. One of its other new additions is a Sexy Beyond Burger Costume, because everyone's first thought after opening a two-pack of Beyond Meat patties is "Damn I'd fuck those."

"Be the yummiest artificial patty between buns in this exclusive Beyond Burger costume featuring a tan tube dress with a speckled bust seed print, a ruffled lettuce trim with a burger patty print, a ruched bust and skirt, a curve-hugging fit, and a matching headband with PLANT BASED printed on a red flag with a brown puff accent," the $36.95 costume's description reads.

According to Yandy, the idea for the sexy costume came from one of the least sexy people on this planet: the eternally ALL CAPS-voiced host of Mad Money. "We have quite a few vegetarians in the office so the thought around plant-based costumes was definitely part of our Halloween discussions this year," a Yandy spokesperson told VICE in an email. "One of our merchandising managers watches Jim Cramer every night on CNBC and apparently he is obsessed with Beyond Meat, so it really stuck in her mind.

"We had previously sold a burger costume and knowing that the category was coming back into popularity, we tried to come up with ideas that were perfect for our audience. Additionally, the silhouette of the dress is a popular, body-con style, so we knew it would look great!"

You do your thing, Sexy Beyond Burger. Unfortunately, there's no Sexy Boba Tea or Sexy Can of White Claw or Sexy Popeye's Chicken Sandwich—at least not yet.