Astro Roast is a column in which astrologer Danny Larkin drags each sign, but affectionately!!
Libras suffer from the grand delusion that life can be wonderful all the time. They’re some of the most charming and kind people you will ever meet, but in their quest to make life as pleasant as possible, they often avoid the tough conversations that are a necessary evil to achieve intimacy, success, and also becoming a functional human being.
Libras are bonkers when it comes to romance. Yes, we can all get a little crazy in love, but Libras are more vulnerable to becoming completely love-drunk and getting carried away. There is a Grace Jones cover of Roxy Music's "Love is a Drug," which she must have sung with Libras in mind. Libras enter a heightened, almost trance-like state when they’re with their lovers. This can get messed up because Libras often feel like the jerk they're with must be their soulmate, simply because of the intensity of their emotions. But in reality, it's more like, You’ve actually fallen this hard for everyone. Call your high school girlfriends if you need a reminder.
Now, one would think that Libras would pick better lovers, given their obsession with romance. But this high they get from love can actually cause trouble: Certain manipulative folks sniff it out and soon realize that Libras will put up with a lot of shit as long as you keep up with the sweet talk, plan romantic evenings, and excel at make-up sex. (Actually, you might not even have to go that far… it’s frankly shocking how quickly a Libra’s standards will fall.) Libras end up being gluttons for punishment because as long as someone supplies their love fix, they’ll take on a lot of collateral damage.
Libras are infamous for flirting too much. Whereas the rest of us look at a room or dating app and think strategically, Libras will flirt with everyone in their field of vision—especially if they’re feeling down and need an ego boost. They think they’re being smart about it by testing the waters with everyone, but what they’re actually doing is throwing a bunch of sexual spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. With this method, unfortunately, what usually sticks is the person with less-than-noble intentions, or a complete loser who can’t believe their luck.
Given all this talk of romantic passion, it should come as no surprise that Libra’s ruling planet is Venus, the planet of love and beauty. In addition to making Libras complete fools when it comes to matters of the heart, Venus’ influence also plays out in how vain Libras are. They want to look incredible all the time. Related: Libras are notorious for being late for everything. A Libra will always have some elaborate excuse for her tardiness, but we all know it’s because she decided she needed to take 45 minutes doing a full contour even though she was just meeting a friend for a drink at the dimly-lit dive bar down the street.
Libras are also notorious for being wishy-washy, and they’re often accused of being fake as hell. These flaws both stem from the same fundamental trait: Libras genuinely believe they should be able to have it both ways. And they’re often so charming that they can get away with refusing to make a choice or stringing people along—but not indefinitely. Once everyone finally gets sick of their bullshit, Libras can find themselves left in the cold.
In truth, most Libras have no idea how manipulative they are. They think they’re being extremely noble and diplomatic by telling everyone exactly what they want to hear, without realizing that technically counts as lying. And most Libras won’t admit—even to themselves—that the intent behind their benevolently mendacious diplomatic efforts isn’t totally pure: As a social air sign, nothing terrifies a Libra more than being disliked by literally anyone.
Libras in overdrive can be so sunny and upbeat that it’s grating to everyone at the party. Even worse, Libras can screw up and invite the wrong person into their friend circles. Libra's friends wonder: Why are you still talking to this person and being fake-nice when everyone else already gave her the stink eye? Similarly, Libras can waste time at clubs and bars flirting with people they actually hate, and miss out as that actual hot person in the corner pairs off with another girl who isn’t wasting her time letting a loser down easy. Sometimes, you just have to reject people swiftly and move on.
It’s impossible to make everyone happy, and Libras need to recognize how foolish it is to think otherwise. They must learn that sometimes, what our friends, colleagues, and lovers need more than anything else is tough love. To Libras, the concept of "tough love" is oxymoronic. But actually, sometimes we have to speak the bitter truth if we really care about someone. And sometimes, you can’t keep the peace; instead, you need to be a strong wind and blow the bullshit away.
Libra season coincides with the autumn harvest, when pumpkins ripen right before Halloween. Libra wants so badly for everything to be as sweet as pumpkin pie—but sometimes, people are rotten, and the best thing you can do is dump them—a hard lesson for Libra to learn. Face it, Libra: Life can’t always be La Dulce Vita, and Starbucks doesn’t carry pumpkin spice lattes year-round for a reason.