Couple of questions for you:
1) Who is the biggest lad in the UK?
2) What is the biggest tune ever conceived of on UK shores?
If your answers weren't: 1) Jeremy Corbyn; and 2) Robbie Williams' magnum opus "Rock DJ" I would, to be honest with you, just go ahead and close this post. If, however, you are either already on the right track or willing to open your mind, you will know that these are irrevocable truths that deserve our attention.
And now, in a work of pure symmetry, these two pillars of true Britishness have been brought together, with the addition of the British national drink (not tea, which is actually from China and was "turned" British in a series of manipulative colonial moves involving India, no – the real national drink: tinnies, cold ones, cans). It's been done in the shape of the world's new greatest website, cans4corbyn.uk.
Ostensibly, yes, this is a Corbyn .gif set to Robbie's "Rock DJ." But it's also so much more: it's a projection of everything that could be, should the left claw their way back into from opposition to Top Dogs in British politics. It makes perfect sense. Picture waking up on Friday 9 June to the Labour Party back in power in a bid to undo the harsh cuts enacted by the current Tory government. Immediately you are compelled to do two things. The first is to crack open a can. The second is to play "Rock DJ" as loudly as you possibly can, while also probably taking off your top and swinging it above your head. cans4corbyn, therefore, is synergy at its finest.
Speaking extremely #exclusively to Noisey dot vice dot com, site creator and socialist visionary Niall Cunningham told me:
To an outsider, Jeremy Corbyn, Rock DJ and Cans™ should have nothing in common. Corbyn's teetotal and seems more into grime and the graps, and Robbie strikes me as the sort of guy who'd love to have a beer with you and would share his crisps and all […]. But stripped to their bare elements, they've both stuck to their core values over time: Corbyn won't be defeated by this election, Robbie will always be the only ample member of Take That and on 8 June we're all going to vote and head to green spaces with a big bag of cans.
Big bag of cans. Can't say it better than that. A vote for Labour is a vote for cans, for "Rock DJ," and all the beauty they represent.
Lauren loves cans and you can follow her on Twitter.
(Image via Wikipedia)