The VICE Guide to Right Now

Child Skeptic Refuses to Be Pawn in Santa's Surveillance State

"Im not telling you my name."
December 4, 2017, 9:57pm
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Traditionally, the holidays are a joyous time, filled with sugary treats, festive decor, and endless hits from your mom's animatronic dancing Santas. But 2018 seems to have ushered in a darker Christmas spirit, one that evokes visions of dead trees and dragons, where hungry rodents are hell-bent on destroying good cheer. It's even compelled one skeptical six-year-old to challenge Santa's very existence.


On Sunday, NPR's Sarah McCammon shared a photo of her son's letter to Santa that he wrote very defiantly just to appease his teachers at school. In it, the kid doesn't ask for anything. Instead he gets real with Kris Kringle, confronting him with some pretty severe allegations.

Adorned with drawings of wreaths and skulls, the kid challenges Father Christmas's so-called authority, omnipresence, and penchant for lists. He shuns the holiday's commercial culture and reveals his own six-year-old existential angst in the process. Set to music, the whole thing could really be a decent emo song.

Before signing off, he offers a "love," before throwing one more jab Santa's way:

"Im not telling you my name," he writes, determined to stay off Santa's lists, and the grid.

According to McCammon, the "trouble" her son claims to have seen in his short life pretty much extends to one person—"his brother."

"Don’t call child services," McCammon said in a follow-up tweet. "Trust me, he’s totally having fun."

Troubled or not, his words perfectly encapsulate the existential dread many people are feeling this year. Good luck, young Santa skeptic, in your tenacious pursuit for the truth.