Composite by VICE Staff
Happy Singles’ Day, folks—thank god there’s a proper holiday celebrating those of us who either haven’t found a long-term boo to cupcake with… or don’t want one in the first place. For those of us who have to pay thousands of dollars a year to go to showers, bachelorette parties, and weddings (knowing full well that gesture may never be reciprocated); buy baby presents when they have no interest in reproducing; and getting stiffed on +1s because the presumption is that they’ll be arriving solo, today is for you. Remember, lots of people in relationships are lowkey deeply unhappy and just terrified of being alone. Just a pick-me-up thought on this special day! To be clear, there are some great things about being single—lots of them, actually. For example: You can freely make out with as many problematic crushes as you wish, you always get to pick the Netflix show, you can starfish freely in your bed, vibrators and masturbator toys are better and more high-tech than ever, and you don’t have to ask another person if it’s OK to treat yourself. On that note, Singles’ Day is the perfect time to buy yourself a self-care gift that says, “I know myself, I love myself, and I’m in control of my destiny,” on top of shopping an abundance of dedicated sales. As we’re wont to do, we’ll give a quick rundown here, as well some suggestions for gifts to make yourself feel ~*~special~*~.Bath salts and scented candles may feel like Celine Dion music video territory, but there’s nothing wrong with showing yourself a little ~*~romance~*~, especially since your Hinge date probably won’t. Tidy up your living room, wash your bath mat, and cozy up with our editor’s Japanese bath salts and a sultry Boy Smells candle. Then, head to bed with a set of heathered cashmere sheets from Brooklinen.Dyson is offering up to $150 off select vacuums.Meridian, maker of our fave body hair trimmer, is offering 20% off sitewide with code SINGLE20.Paula's Choice, the brand behind the cult-fave liquid exfoliant and more popular skincare, is offering 25% off holiday sets.SkinStore is offering 25% off select skin-care products with promo code SINGLES.Tatcha, the Japanese skincare brand that keeps us glowing, will hook you up with a free gift with $150+ orders when you use the promo code SINGLES22.Wayfair is having Flash Deal Friday, with crazy-good deals on all kinds of furniture and home goods.Everyone knows the best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, and that’s true for yourself as well. Sip an earthy, mushroom-based chai from MUD\WTR; fire up the steamer basket and sit down to a meal of XCJ’s ridiculously delicious soup dumplings; and for dessert, feed yourself white-chocolate-injected strawberries from Bokksu.There’s nothing like an arsenal of orgasm-inducing sex toys in your nightstand to take the edge off the single life. In fact, it’s fair to make the generalization that much of the best sex you’ll ever have will be with yourself. Grab a new clitoral stimulator, Fleshlight, or butt plug set. Why not? Plus, shop these sales on sexual wellness products:Foria is offering 21% off sitewide, so stock up on its popular CBD lube.LELO, the high-tech Swedish sex toy brand, is offering up to 50% off sitewide.Lovehoney is offering up to 50% off select sex toys.Lovers is offering 11% off sitewide with promo code ELEVEN.Zumio, maker of one of our fave vibrators for targeted clitoral stimulation, is offering 25% off sitewide plus free shipping.Whether you’re looking to attract a figurative Betty or just want to feel yourself in a new ‘fit, copping a fuego new look is an A+ way to feel good about being single. We say, for the guys, grab a handsome new puffer, like this one from The North Face Black Label; for the ladies, score a satin lingerie set from CUUP’s new holiday collection; and for anybody and everybody, treat your tootsies to a new pair of Crocs. Nordstrom is offering an extra 25% off select clearance items, including designer goods. Reebok is taking up to 50% off select styles with promo code FAM.Zappos is offering up to 50% off select brands, so while you may not have a partner, you will have fresh kicks.Happy Singles’ Day, singles. Personally, we’ll be watching Singles and eating Kraft singles.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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Have a romantic night in (with yourself)
Plus, shop these sales on cozy bedding, home goods, and luxurious skincare:Brooklinen is offering 10% off sitewide, so snag those coveted cashmere sheets and stay cozy.
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Stock up on snacks
Plus, shop these sales on cookware and kitchen appliances:Caraway is offering up to 20% off sitewide with promo code CYBER2022.Nutribullet, our smoothie-blending king, is offering 20% off personal blenders with code SINGLESDAY.Our Place, maker of the Always Pan and much more, is offering up to 20% off select styles.
Upgrade your sex toy collection
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Do some dopamine dressing
Plus, shop these sales on clothing and accessories:Alo is offering 30% off sitewide on its popular athleisure-wear.ASOS is saluting singles with 25% off sitewide with promo code XOXO.Crocs is offering up to 50% off select styles—and hey, might help you get laid, because who doesn’t want to go home with someone wearing Crocs?Everlane is taking 30% off sweaters and outerwear, so you can stay warm even if you’re the only one on the sofa. Farfetch, home of droolworthy designer goods, is offering 22% off select styles.
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The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.