This Chef-Collab Non-Alcoholic Wine Is (Literally) Michelin-Worthy

Here at VICE, we’re not shy about our love of getting drunk, but we’re also huge fans of non-alcoholic beverages. In fact, you could go so far as to say we’re ~connoisseurs~ of all things N/A. From unique takes on amaro (and spirits in general) to tasty N/A beers, we simply love a good drink. 

When we tried Proxies, one of the most bangin’ N/A wine alts on the market, we were all in. What makes Proxies so good is that it doesn’t pretend to be an alcohol-less wine; no, it’s very comfortable being itself (“itself” being a delicious blend of teas, vinegars, fruit juices, herbs, and more). “The bottles are calculated brews of sweet, bitter, and acidic flavors meant to mimic the complexity of wine, but without the processes that actually produce alcohol,” I wrote in a review of some of Proxies’ classic bottles, which are now being served at high-end restaurants around the country. I still stand behind Proxies—in fact, I literally ordered a glass of the sparkling Bulle at a restaurant (the Michelin-starred Galit) earlier this week. 

Proxies has a strong lineup of wines, from the earthy Velvet red (a personal fave) to the electric, acidic Pastiche white; but the collabs are where the brand really stretches its legs. For previous bottles, Proxies teamed up with figures like sommelier André Hueston Mack and award-winning chef Sean Brock to make bottles inspired by their unique life experiences. The brand’s newest bottle, a partnership with celebrated chef Dominique Crenn, is yet another winner in the expanding lineup.

Even if you haven’t eaten at Dominique Crenn’s three-Michelin-star restaurant Atelier Crenn, you might have experienced her touch in the 2022 fine dining satire The Menu (which she consulted on), or watched her compete in Netflix’s Iron Chef; or maybe you’ve seen the Chef’s Table episode about her. Now, you can try her Proxies bottle, Pétanque. “Crafting Pétanque was a truly delightful experience. I wanted to explore the culture and diversity of my new home in California,” the French chef wrote on the Proxies website, “so we explored different flavors, herbs, and textural components that I use in the kitchen to express creativity and community in the glass.” The beverage is, of course, named for the eponymous French lawn bowling game, insinuating that cracking this bottle should yield a playful, relaxed experience..

Drinking Pétanque is, indeed, a joyful endeavor. With primary ingredients like Riesling grape juice, green apple juice, yuzu vinegar, and fermented sage, this particular wine alternative has notes of citrus, tennis balls, and kiwi (at least to me). Gyokuro tea and herbal bitters give it a funky base, while the more herby-notes elevate it to a complex finish. All in all, the Pétanque is one of the better bottles Proxies has done so far, and that’s saying a lot. 

To try Pétanque (and have access to the brand’s future special releases), join Proxies’ wine club; or, if you just want to dip your toes in, check out a four-pack of some of the other delightful offerings. [Advertising voice] Pétanque: because nothing says “France meets California” like wine with no alcohol in it.

Order Pétanque in Proxies’ wine club here. 

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