We are a nation of highways and, as Jack Kerouac explained to us all, the cross-country trip is an American rite of passage. It's odd then, isn't it, that the food choices on the byways of America are so, well, pathetic. Denny's, McDonald's, Subway, and Arby's, mile after godforsaken mile.
But then there is Waffle House. If you are travelling, especially in the South, the genteel sight of the bright yellow roof and yellow-and-black striped awning promises 24 hours of scattered, smothered, and covered hash browns. What more could you want? Waffle House can offer a bit of Southern comfort in an otherwise dismal landscape. Many of us have come to count on Waffle House as a beacon. It is always there and it is always open—in fact, legend has it that there are no keys to the Waffle House, because it never closes.
This is why Waffle House can elicit strong feelings from its clientele. For instance, the response of one disgruntled customer who allegedly shattered the front door of a franchise in Atlanta this week when he found out that things were not as he expected there.
But things never change at the Waffle House, you say? Alas, this gentleman suffered the substantial indignity of finding out that there had been a 50-cent increase in the price of his sausage biscuit.
Waffle House employees said the man was loud, upset, and belligerent after receiving his check and finding out that the price of the sausage biscuit had been raised to $1.50 from $1. On his way out, he smashed through the front door.
But he didn't get away that fast. Police officers evidently transported him to a local hospital where he was treated for a cut on his thumb and scratches on his leg. Then our renegade hero was booked at DeKalb County Jail.
We don't use the term "hero" lightly. This isn't Italy, people, where a drive on the autostrada can be punctuated by a stop at the Autogrill, a delightful place where they will whip up a fresh pasta dish for you while you wait. No, this is America, where we depend on the Waffle House for a Texas Melt and hash browns. And a biscuit! For a dollar! Is that asking too much?
According to Inquisitr, the arresting officer returned to the Waffle House restaurant to review the store's security video. The police report states that, "The video shows [the suspect] sitting in a corner booth eating his meal. It shows him throw his bill on the floor of the restaurant as he stands up from his booth. He walks toward the front door when you see his foot kick the front glass door. The glass shatters as he continues to push the door open and leave the scene."
Who among us does not feel his pain?
The suspect said, however, that "he barely kicked the door and only used his foot because the door was greasy." Is that a dig at the hash browns? We may never know.
The police charged the man with disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing, as well as criminal damage to property.
Meanwhile, the local police department posted this tip on its Facebook page: "Tip of the day: When the Waffle House employee tells you the sausage biscuit is no longer $1 and the new price is $1.50, please refrain from punching the glass door open while storming out. Glass tends to shatter when met with such force, and you will be swiftly taken into custody."
Thanks for the tip, guys. It's just that we like to find Waffle House exactly the way we left it. On the side of the road, slinging hash browns and sausage biscuits—the ones that just cost a buck.