Let This Rotting Ninja Turtle Prop Kill the Last of Your Childhood Innocence

The costume can be yours in time for Halloween.
October 1, 2019, 4:43pm
Ninja Turtles
Ninja Turtle image via propstoreauction.com. Hieronymus Bosch painting courtesy of Wikicommons

There was a time, long ago, when the world felt fresh and new. Every breeze was saturated by the sweet smell of childhood and each corner just begged to be explored. Alas, that time is gone. But it still lingers, somewhat, to remind you that the wonder of childhood is not gone forever, that the innocence you had still lives inside you and will continue to live forever, if you—oh, wait. Nevermind. That innocence just died, once and for all, all thanks to this horrifying, decaying costume from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live-action movie. Sorry!

Please, feast your eyes upon this cursed Leonardo and weep for the childhood that is as rotten as the costume itself:


Image via propstoreauction.com

Yes, that is the actual costume worn by some unfortunate actor on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3, better known as "not the Ninja Turtles sequel with Vanilla Ice in it, the other one." Yes, it seems to be rotting like Leonardo has picked up a horrifying flesh-eating bacteria during his explorations of the NYC sewers. Yes, it is disturbing. Deeply, deeply disturbing.

The teeth alone are the stuff of nightmares:


Image via propstoreauction.com

Please, stop. For the love of all that is holy, no. Leonardo leads no longer; this vile husk is all that remains—and it can be yours just in time for Halloween, apparently, if you're willing to brave the ungodly stench of whatever the thing smells like on the inside.

The movie prop was originally unearthed from the depths of hell (or the internet, or both) by noble Twitter user Jayme K and is currently up for sale on the appropriately-titled PropStoreAuction.com. The starting bid is £5,000, or just over $6,000, which seems like a small price to pay for the chance to stare the death of your youthful spirit in its lifeless, decrepit eyes!

Nothing will ever be the same after this. We're sorry. We're so, so sorry.