We Asked People About the Songs That Make Them Horny

Horniness is a strange and elusive beast. We’re all into different things. Some people get turned on by being financially dominated for example, whereas the thought of somebody literally removing money from my bank account fills me with a sense of completely sexless dread. Others get turned on by head-to-toe PVC, or dentist chairs, or Gillian Anderson shooting them an evil glare, IDK. You get the idea. We’re all coded in various ways when it comes to horniness, and none of it makes much sense.

All of this got me thinking. Most people must have at least one song which makes them horny. I know this because “Hey Mickey” by Toni Basil used to turn me on as a teenager (don’t ask, I still don’t know why, it doesn't work anymore), and my esteemed colleague and friend Emma Garland has actively investigated her horniness for Giggs. I should point out here that these aren't songs we'd have sex to, per se, but rather they trigger something within us. We can’t be the only ones though.

“Fall Out Boy's ‘This Ain't a Scene’ always makes me horny because it takes me right back to when I was 11 and had just reached that age where you discover your sexuality. I think Pete Wentz was the first boy to truly make my fanny flutter – it was my heterosexual emo boy-loving awakening. I remember seeing his nudes leak just before that video came out, and it might be the first real dick pic I ever saw, so when they reference that whole fiasco in the video it gave me the horn. I had many a premature fantasy watching it over and over on YouTube. Can't believe I've still never shagged an emo boy to that song.” Emma, 23

“Being horny is actually quite a sad state, if you don’t have anyone to bang lol. So anyway, one of them is ‘Sexual Healing’, which is so obviously a horny song, but I find it desperately sad. The story behind it is so wild, like he wrote it when his management sent him to some island to recover from a porn addiction. But anyway, for all that melancholy, it would be good music to have sex to because it's 'funky' and upbeat! So ‘sexual healing’ always makes me want to cry… but also have sex!” James, 26

“This is a very obvious choice but ‘Masseduction’ always makes me genuinely, actively horny. St Vincent gives off so much sexual energy just in her vocals, but also the lyrics ‘I can’t turn off what turns me on’ and the bassline in the song. I think it’s a bit too much to actually have sex to, but it always makes me think about people I want to sex with and imagine the lead up to it and what I would do to them.” Rhi, 24

“A long time ago, me and an ex got together with Bob Dylan's ‘Blowing in the Wind’ playing in the background. It was a really great time because it had been coming for a while, so the whole thing was like an exhalation and then Bob Dylan became a bit of a theme for our relationship for a bit – it was one of the tunes we'd play to indicate we were in the mood. But then he moved to uni and we were still together, but I had lots of extracurricular hookups and I used the same playlist… then Dylan became synonymous with that rush of cheating, especially when I'd bang him to it. It was all very messy and hot.” Ben, 28

“Me and my partner competed in a strip show last year spontaneously on a night out, and now whenever I hear 'Tension' by Fergie (lol, the song I chose) it always undeniably gets me in the mood, reminding me of getting down with him in front of like 1,000 people. If you haven’t heard the song, drop it a listen – you’ll see. It’s kind of like what a lead for the female Magic Mike would use as her ‘once she’s trained’ showcase intro.” James, 25

“This whole song and also the intro to 'Drop Dead Gorgeous' by Republic always seems to turn me on. I don't know why. I think it's because I have a thing for strutting Britpop boys, and that time and style in general. But also, both have got quite a rhythmic, thumping beat and they remind me of when you first fancy someone and are kind of peacocking to them. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. Essentially the song is a banger and it makes me horny because it does.” Charlie, 29

“'Laura' always makes me horny, mainly because I want Jake Shears to ruin my life in the video. I remember watching it at as a young gay kid and being like, 'I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU'. When he's getting his hair cut it's so homoerotic, and his voice is hot in it. And, like, he's singing about being 'The man that I know I can' etc. Also there's this bit where he whispers, 'Tired of this shit, swear I'm gonna quit' and I want him to whisper that to me when he's inside me.” Louis, 26

“This is an embarrassing one to admit but it's true. The line 'I wanna make you holler / And hear you scream my name' always makes me horny. And then recently my girlfriend bought a long leather coat and this one time after sex she put it on with nothing underneath and danced to this song. It was meant as a joke but it absolutely did it for me, she fully embodied the song. Omg I am so embarrassed, but you asked!” Alex, 26

@daisythejones