FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Sports

RIP Chunk of Joe Thornton's Beard, You'll Be Missed

Nazem Kadri decided Jumbo Joe's big, bushy beard was in need of a trim and ripped out a handful.
Screen capture via Sportsnet/YouTube

For the first time in its two-and-a-half year history, Joe Thornton's glorious beard has taken a loss.

The defeat came literally at—or in—the hands of Maple Leafs shit-disturber (and now infamous beard-killer) Nazem Kadri, who can add facial hair to his list of enemies around the NHL. The tragic incident happened Thursday just two seconds into the first frame during a fight off the game's opening faceoff between Thornton and Kadri, who engaged in some jawing and traded a few greasy stick-jabs before being kicked out of the draw and lining up at the wing.

Advertisement

The chirping continued, and after a quick couple head nods, the two engaged in a scrap that would have been largely uneventful, until a large chunk of beard was noticed on the ice. That face fuzz did indeed belong to Thornton, and it was indeed Kadri who pulled that shit right off his face and casually dropped it in on the ice surface as the officials separated the two combatants.

Kadri may tread the line often with his on-ice play, but he's no murderer. This heinous act resulted from a near-five-inch height disadvantage which caused Kadri to blindly reach and attempt to hold onto anything within arms length as Jumbo Joe's jumbo fists came raining down. In this case, Kadri's opponent just happened to have a beard that rivals those of the early pilgrims, which made for some easy grabbin' and some even easier pullin'.

Thornton started growing his prominent beard prior to the 2015-16 season, and it made it through the last two-and-a-half NHL campaigns relatively unscathed. So what does an organization do when such a tragedy occurs? Keep that baby as a souvenir, obviously.

Once casually removed from face, this limited edition Joe Thornton beard hair also makes for great bulletin board material.