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The photograph of myself I sent I Am A Stuffed AnimalThe best possible reason I can think of for having a cushion version of someone is Voodoo. In retrospect, I wish I’d requested a little stuffed Johnny Depp. How I’d love to stab Johnny Depp in his groin with a knitting needle. I can see it now: Johnny Depp on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean IIV, jangling along as Captain Jack, when suddenly he lurches forward, grabs his crotch, and drops to his knees. Everyone on set is rapt because they’re sure they’re witnessing the kind of celluloid magic that only Johnny Depp can deliver. But, in reality, he’s having his balls gouged by an embittered little man who wishes he had an island, too.Besides the height difference, The I Am A Stuffed Animal version of me is actually spot-on. They even got the George Michael stubble down pat.JASON CROMBIE