Nearly 20 Percent of Parents Regret the Name They Gave Their Baby

A bunch of dickhead idiots with shit for brains have emerged as regretful about the stupid decisions they've made. Sound familiar?

Mumsnet, the home of mums on the internet who like to discuss which milk formula has the least amount of calories or whatever, conducted a study in which they discovered that 18 percent of parents regret the name they gave their child, which, to be honest, is a staggeringly high amount. If they answered yes, 32 percent said the regret occurred within the first six weeks, presumably after a concerned grandparent looked on as the new mothers and fathers put "Sundown" on the birth certificate.

Intriguingly, though, the reason that most people regret the naming of their child is not because they've called it something fucking stupid, but because the name is too common. Too many Johns, Jacks, Joes, Jims, Jameses, Jerrys, Jills, Judys, not enough Espadrilles, Makitas, Don Juans, Myras. I think Myra is actually a beautiful name and the fact it's been decommissioned because of that murderous woman from 60 years ago is a load of bull-honky. Would anyone really bat an eyelid if someone just came out and called their kid Myra? It's not like the kid is gonna get bullied for it.

Though the regret was strong with nearly 20 percent of parents, only 1 percent of them actually went ahead and changed their kid's name, with the rest of them just silently resenting their disappointingly named brood. Good going, idiot face! Give it a name you like next time, you dingus!

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