Rob Ford Has Some Cruel Twitter Followers

We know we’re tough on Rob Ford when it comes to his social media presence. For example, I took the time to meticulously pick apart Rob Ford’s official Facebook photo albums to let him know his photographer was clearly sabotaging him. And of course, being the responsible and reactionary Mayor that he is, Robbie got a somewhat better photographer. Then we showcased a brilliant piece of code, made by Marc Ellison, that scraped Robbie’s Facebook page for all of the deleted comments his staffers did not think were appropriate for public consumption.

Unfortunately, Robbie’s staffers do not have the same level of control over the Twitter responses that Rob’s official Twitter account, @TOMayorFord, receives from his constituents. If you think we’re harsh, the city of Toronto in general is much, much worse. Here's a sampling of what Rob Ford and his staffers have to deal with in their Twitter mentions on a daily basis.

Here’s Rob Ford politely alerting the people of Toronto that—due to the city’s unprecedented flooding—there would be a special garbage pickup for all the nasty flood trash that no one wanted rotting away in their hallways anymore. It's quite honourable that during such a stresful time, Rob was able to fire up his laptop and slap together a tweet. Plus, it seems like a pretty innocent and good-intentioned message, right? Well, some people took this opportunity to hate on Robbie, and his presumed weakness for yummy snacks.

HARSH! Although the image of Rob Ford chomping his way through the city of Toronto, Pacman style, swallowing up garbage bags and all of the soaked comic book collections ruined by the flood definitely makes us chortle and chuckle and slap our knees with excitement, this is very mean-spirited. Not cool. Imagine Rob's face when he read this response?

Here's Rob Ford doing his best Captain Planet impression. Coming from the man who rides around in a giant SUV, Rob's environmental conservation advice doesn't necessarily have the most authenticity. But, I guess it's one of those "do as I say (not as I do)" situations. Despite dealing with a citywide power issue, Rob was still able to hop onto the information superhighway and address the people of #Toronto with a "Thank You." Let's see how his followers responded to this one…

Oh come on! First of all, I didn’t even know you could vaporize crack. But evidently, as far as this person is concerned, the most unfortunate consequence of losing power is having to resort to analog means of drug consumption. I mean, who wants to hoover crack rock with a regular ol’ pipe and lighter, when you have the much healthier option of vaporizing that white stuff? Sounds like a no brainer to me.

Rob has seen a lot of ups and downs lately—namely being fired, then rehired, then almost fired again, while also facing a crack cocaine scandal. But of course, somehow, he always emerges as the victor, leaving a string of unhappy individuals in his wake. Here we see Robbie taking time away from his intense schedule to share his deepest feelings of relief with his Twitter followers. Unfortunately, the illegal aliens living within Ford Nation do not want to see Robbie win.

:(

Here’s a fun-loving Robbie tweet. Not only is Rob sharing his love for funky web design (it’s well known that Rob Ford was a major proponent of mid-90s Geocities and Angelfire web design, according to a super official VICE Canada survey) he’s letting his followers know about the joyous Woofstock festival that touches down in Toronto twice a year. One has to wonder, though, if Rob really is writing these tweets himself. Does he use 'funky' often in conversation, or was his social media rep feeling particularly quirky that day? Hard to say, but  as you are probably learning by now, the sardonic and hateful people of Toronto took this tweet as an open door to blast the Mayor.

Not only is Rob’s vocabulary being called into question here, this follower has also posed a deeply existential question to Rob himself. Does Rob have any idea what he is doing? Whoa man, deep. Rob must have given this response a lot of deep thought, while tabbing between cute puppy Tumblrs and the GIF subreddit.

This picture. Sigh. I didn’t realize that you could hotwire a flip phone to work with Twitter. What the hell, guys? I guess, much like Barack Obama's specialized BlackBerry, you can get a cell phone to do anything as a political leader. Terrible photo aside; this is just a simple good-times tweet to celebrate Robbie’s born day. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh I see where you’re going with this one! While it’s hard to believe that the Ford staffers hot boxed the top floor of City Hall with crack vapours, before cutting the cake and taking a crappy cellphone photo for all of Rob’s Twitter followers, it wouldn’t be completely unbelievable given the framing and lack of colour correction displayed in this official Rob Ford photo.

Rob hates “Gypsy Moths” as much as the next guy, but you would think that in light of Sun News’ recent Gypsy scandal that they would pick a less racist name for these pesky bugs. Oh well kill ‘em all, right Rob? Whether or not you are personally affected by the Gypsy Moth epidemic that has been plaguing the City of Toronto, it’s valuable information. I think. How did the people respond?

Well, there you have it. This individual couldn’t even ponder the consequences of Gypsy Moths for half a second before calling for Rob’s head. Clearly Robbie has upset the internet users of Toronto very deeply.

Despite reversing the perfectly fine, five-cent charge for plastic bags, Robbie is concerned where all of these environment-destroying sacs end up. Interesting.

Leave it to Toronto’s most prized pandas to reuse the “Rob loves to eat stuff” joke from earlier on in this article. Oh well, how could we blame you for rehashing a punch line, pandas? It’s an exciting accomplishment that you’re able to tweet in the first place. Welcome to Canada!

Follow Patrick on Twitter: @patrickmcguire

Previously:

Rob Ford's New Music Video Includes Our Photoshopped Image of Him with a Pipe

We Spoke to a Former Crack Addict about Rob Ford

Rob Ford Has a Terrible Photographer