Right, so, time for some news that I have literally only been able to stop laughing about in the last five minutes, but also keep remembering and doing little residual laughs about. As if this headline was not already enough of a blessing, The Mirror has reported this morning that Noel Gallagher has tormented his brother for years over his fear of ghosts, essentially... by moving furniture about in his bedroom to shit him up.
In Noel's words, "If we were ever anywhere remotely spooky, we'd tell Liam that the house was haunted, particularly his bedroom."
"When he'd get up in the morning and go and have his breakfast, someone would go in and turn the pictures back to front, or fucking move a lamp beside his bed across the other side of the room. He'd arrive pale: 'Have you been in my fucking room?' 'No, why?' 'You've been in my room, because now the fucking lamp is in the toilet.' 'No way, fucking hell. Wow.'"
The report also notes that the brothers, in their rock'n'roll heyday (or, "When they were constantly off their tits"), suspected bizarre conspiracies were surrounding them during the 1996 sessions for Oasis' third album _Be Here Now_, which took place at The Farm in Surrey. Noel explained: "Because it's on a farm, there's lots of farm people knocking around, we'd always be suspiciously looking out their window, admittedly high as a fucking kite thinking, 'Sheep's got a camera. Don't like the look of that pig.'"
Sheep's got a camera. Liam Gallagher has a fear of poltergeists. Finally some 2016 news we can believe in.
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(Image by Etsai from Japan, via Wikipedia)